Little Kite Girl

SO yeah.  After a rocky afternoon I went out with some friends to the movies while my parents watched Camper and his friend, Boo ;) They are really, very cute together and part of me wanted to stay home and watch them play, but it was nice to go out with a group of girls for a change.  John was planning on taking a half day, but unexpectedly had to stay at work late (and then felt very sick on the way home) so he’s now going out to get us some dinner (addendum: when he got home he had dinner AND ice cream cake.  I was too cold to eat it tonight and everyone had gone to sleep…but I suspect I’ll be just fine tomorrow:)).  I intend to put on my PJ’s, watch Chuck, and try to forget the less than pleasant aspects of today.

My parents gave me a wonderful present, as well.  Three pairs of wool socks.  Smartwool, which I love and er…actually can’t really afford.  I have one pair that is currently one sock…owing to the fact that my kid likes to take sock out of my drawer and stick them into his trucks and into the laundry basket.  So now I have four.  And my feet will be all the happier for it.  I never knew that posh socks could make you happier.  Now I know.  So parents, my feet and I thank you.

And thanks for braving the February night for ice cream cake, John.  A birthday just isn’t a birthday without one.

And now I will go to sleep.

Today is my birthday.  Le big 27.  I stayed up late last night talking with a friend and then editing some of John’s writing, so I woke up pretty groggily and tried to convince Camper to snuggle in bed with me.  He did not want to.  And now he says, “No.”  So, I mean…considering all means of communication open to him, that was pretty clear.  John gave me my presents :)  He bought me Goodnight Nobody by Jennifer Weiner, Remember Me? by Sophie Kinsella, Anybody Out There by Marian Keyes, and The Shiksa Syndrome by Laurie Graff.  After much deliberation about the nature of my presents… he decided books were the way to go. Good choice, John.  After finishing my BA I decided to go on quest to find out what kind of books I really LIKE to read.  And it turns out…pretty much  magazines or blogs that LOOK like books are my favorite.  Chick lit.  A real time-waster, but oh so relaxing and mind-freeing.  Because when I read 1000 Splendid Suns I had a small breakdown.  It was very good, but also very sad.  My real life causes me enough real drama already.  I don’t need literature to add to my angst.

I’m also reading The Count of Monte Cristo right now.  Just so you don’t think I’ve abandoned ALL REAL LITERATURE.  But yo, it’s long.  So we’ll see how it goes.

As for how today has gone after all of that, well.  Eh.  Hopefully tomorrow the sun will rise again and we’ll have know what the crap to do with our lives.  Until then, at least I made it another year.

SOOOOOOOOO…..now that we are in the THICK of winter, and owing to my usually car-less state…Camper and I have been watching more TV than we should lately.  We get up in the morning and after breakfast he says, “Booo! Coooo!” which just happens to be around 7am when two episodes of Blue’s Clues starts.  The Nick Jr. morning lineup actually isn’t that bad.  Especially when my eyes are closed.  Granted, he does run around and play while watching, but it’s on.  And he watches it.  Then naptime, then back to the living room after lunch at 1 for some more stuff on the DVR while I try to vacuum, do laundry, read, etc.  That lasts at least another hour or until whenever PopPop gets home, then La La, then Daddy and we have some actual PEOPLE to concentrate on.  But the TV is usually on.

Noticing the way the TV has encroached on our lives lately, today I took drastic measures.  I kept it off.  This morning after breakfast the child and I went upstairs.  We folded laundry.  I let Camper run around in just his cloth diaper with no cover (we’re learning “wet” and “dry”) and then we went through ALL HIS STUFFED ANIMALS saying their names and making their noises.  Then he went in his room for about 20 minutes and clunked around while I checked email, etc.  And then it was 8am.  Sigh.  So we played with the soccer ball, he took a BAP and then got half an episode of Booo! Coooo! while I took a shower.  It’s kind of nice to be able to shower with him up and running around these days, even if right before I got in he did run into the bathroom and fell forehead first into the toilet.

Ouch.

He took a nap and then we played with La La, went grocery shopping, and then got home for dinner and FINALLY some brain-less time with the TV on.

So yeah.  I need some more fun activities to do with my kiddo.  I looked some things up, so we’ll see how it goes.  I just haven’t been that motivated to turn the TV off and figure out games to play lately.  I think it’s the winter doldrums.  So we’re turning the the stereo more, playing with specific toys, reading MORE books (is it even possible?) and I’m starting to think about things like shower crayons and…well…that’s about it.  It’s so hard when the temperature reads below the “safe” range for taking him outside for a bit.  Super sigh.

And some of you have started to write about Spring.  Not here.  Not til at least April.

If you have any 17 mo. old friendly activities in mind, do share!  I’d love to try something new.

we get a little cabin fever.

I’m not sure what changed between this month and last month, but all of a sudden my child is a fountain of words and knowledge and just PURE GENIUS.  Ok, maybe not genius.  Maybe normal baby progression-ness.  But seriously- the words he says surprise me now.  I got out some of those word books for the first time in a few weeks and he happily pointed and called things by name.  He didn’t learn it from the books, though, because he’ll point at a picture of a teddy bear and say, “Bear (ba-ra), RAAAA!”  and under the picture it says, “Teddy.”  So he must just be GATHERING this stuff.  Storing it away and learning that  bears on TV and in his toy box and in a book are all…bears…Smart boy.  He also randomly knows all kind of body parts.  Things like “hair” and “cheeks” in addition to nose, eyes, and ears.  He wiggles his toes and fingers, shows you his belly.  I think it might be time to teach him words for his private parts so we can get on with this whole potty training prep.  We’ll see how that goes, but seeing as I’m home with him I’d like to try early potty training.  But first I need to teach him to pull down and up his pants, and to say or indicate the words associated with bathroom-ness.

And speaking of the leetle genius, he’s awake now.  So no more bloggy mommy I guess.

Later peeps.

Darnnit. I wonder if it would work for me?

So yeah.  Music Together.  Remember how I super gushed about all the cute babies, mostly still crawling, all playing together so perfectly and the super nice moms there, too?  Well.  We have a new group now.  Everyone is nice enough, I guess.  But the moms are…already friends with each other.  (And super rich and skinny whatever) and their kids are bigger.  Two weeks in a row Camper got flattened by a little boy who simply doesn’t watch where he’s going.  He was crying and freaking out and the kid was all, “See ya, annoying baby!”  Then yesterday a certain amorous toddler decided that she was going to hug all the kids, and while I was busy doing Sea Shells with another Mom the toddler flattened Camper so bad that the mom who got there first actually checked his teeth (to see if they got broken, I guess, or if he bite himself.)  And honestly, my kid doesn’t cry that much when he gets hurt.  But he does when another kid is involved.  So yeah, is this normal?  Do I just have to wait for him to be bigger and then teach him to defend himself?

What broke my heart even more than outright violence, however, was when Camper saw a little baby girl standing next to him and smiled at her and then held out his hand for her to take it if she wanted to.  He didn’t even grab her hand!  Just held his out, and she just walked away, miffed.

A whole new brand of heartbreak for the mommy.

Whatever, he is too good for her anyway ;)

But other than the new social drama, I’m still enjoying it.  I love seeing him pretend to be a train walking around with the group, participating even more now.  Following the grownups motions and singing along.  He even puts the instruments away when it’s time, putting them in the right bin then waving “Bye bye” to them without crying.  Good kid.

I took him to the doctor on Monday- he had to get a couple of vaccinations that he couldn’t get before because of my medications (I would get sick because of the live virus) and turns out, he still couldn’t get the chicken pox one.  They’re freaked that I’ll get shingles, which I don’t think would be very fun.  At all.  But the doctor came in to check him out and he FREAKED OUT.  As soon as he saw her he let loose, and she actually had to call in a couple of nurses to help us, and that was just so she could LISTEN TO HIS BREATH SOUNDS.  When she did the shots he COULD get I held him on my lap, nurses held down his legs and the doctor administered the shots.  Then I got a shot, too (on the DL, I haven’t been able to get this particular one anywhere else, so they gave it to me) he cried for me, too.  Poor baby.  The doctor said, and I quote,

“How old is he? 16 months?  He is so strong.”  My first thought: try changing his diaper.  My second thought: baby tacklers beware.  When he realizes he can tackle back, you gonna be in TRACTION.

He wore this hat for a couple of hours.  He brought it to me and said, “HAT-AH” and then refused to take it off.

Twas cute.

SOOOOOO, they other day I cried.  (BIG SURPRISE?!?) I got up, saw the laundry and the dishes that magically appeared in the sink every time I turned around and a dust bunny floated down the hallway on the lofty wings of forced-air heating, and I just cried.  I’ve thought about hiring a cleaning lady, but a) BROKE and b) I don’t think cleaning ladies hire cleaning ladies.  And no, I’m not a cleaning lady (what is that actual job title, anyway?) but as the mother of a 16 month old, a small person who simultaneously creates and tries to eat messes, it’s basically the same thing.

So yeah.  And then the last couple of days have been just BLAH.  It’s like I’m running on a cleanliness/organization treadmill and it’s going faster than my legs can go and for a few minutes I’m all “CHECK ME OUT I’M FLYING I CAN DO THIS WEEEEEE” and then I’m flat on my back with my legs up a wall staring at the ceiling wondering what happened.

I remember a time when I’d wake up and my priority and plans were to clean myself up, gather the appropriate belongings and GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.  I like…HAD to go. There was stuff out here I had to do.  I knew that staying home with a kid would require a lot of staying home, but I guess I didn’t realize the effect it would have on my OCD and my inability to keep my emotional smack together.  Because when I left the house daily (still a goal, but not achievable due to car situation, child situation etc.) I had a focus other than just the cleanliness of my house.  I had other things that I achieved.

I actually DID stuff.  FINISHED it.  Felt good, patted myself on the back.  Way to go Erin.  Today, however, even as I vacuumed with the smallest most quiet vacuum in the house (vacuums freak Camper out) he was trailing along behind me dropping organic bunny cereal on the carpet.  I just got all the laundry done and the baskets are already full.  I get the dishes in the dishwasher but then there are more.  You get it.  And you might be saying, “What’s your problem again? You don’t like housework?  I’ll alert the media.”

But it’s not that.  I actually DO like housework.  This is bigger than that, somehow.  It’s something about how the work I’m doing has changed from small, attainable projects to LONGER term things.  Like giving up my specific educational goals to have the time to raise a healthy, happy child.  Like keeping my family as happy as we can be considering LIFE.  Like cleaning up little messes all the livelong day of every week of every month since I had this child.  And yes, I am working on school again.  But no, it’s not even CLOSE to the original plan I had.   A plan that I’m actually happy to trade for motherhood and all that goes with it.  Happy most of the time, anyway.

Again, WHINER.  I have a healthy child.  I have HELP. LOTS OF HELP.  I guess right now I’m a Mom.  And all of this goes with it?  Yeah?

Yeah.  If you’ll excuse me, the washer is off balance.