Yesterday John and I went out for a bit. We were picking up the long awaited engagement ring, made with my Grandma June’s diamonds. It’s absolutely breathtaking. I asked John if I’m fancy enough for it. He said, “Well, some people wear fancy clothes, and some people are just fancy.” Not sure what that meant exactly…but it made me feel better. Haha. In honor of the occasion, we drove past the theatre where we saw the worst movie EVER and then went to Borders, where we ended up on our first date after somehow making it through the movie. As we were waiting for our hot chocolate and cider, we had the third and final moment in our “engagement.” What were the first two moments, you might wonder? Well, there was the first time John proposed and I accepted, then…after a brief freak out by yours truly, there was the second moment when I proposed and John accepted, and now third and finally…the ring.
After hanging out a bit in Borders we took a drive, headed towards Manti. In my head I was thinking things like, “I have to go to bed, make sure I get enough rest for work tomorrow,” and “I hope we don’t go to far.” I asked John where we were going, and then something just, clicked. I remembered when we were first dating. I lived in a house with two others girls, shared a room. We could hang out there sometimes, but more often than not it was not suited to what we wanted to be doing- so we’d go out. We went everywhere, sometimes we’d go to a movie, sometimes to Borders, sometimes we’d go on long drives up Canyons into Heber or Park City or up to Salt Lake or out to Manti. We went and saw a lot of temples. We took some long walks around campus, up and down the hill, through the different paths around the duck pond. We went night hiking up a canyon near campus…I can’t remember what it’s called… We would stay out and up until 1, 2, sometimes 3 in the morning. I have no idea what we talked about. We didn’t talk about the things we talk about now: the wedding, the house, our jobs, the honeymoon….money… We walked and drove and talked ourselves into hunger pangs and sore feet and cold hands and runny noses and sheer exahustion. I’m honestly not sure how I handled school and work on top of all that. And knowing John better now, I don’t know HOW he got enough sleep to function at all, especially considering the fact that he was living in Salt Lake at the time, and whatever time we were done “being together” he still had to drive at least another half an hour to forty-five minutes. And that all started at night! That doesn’t even take into account meeting up between classes just to talk for a minute, the time I spent sitting next to him as he was working in the library, or our time in class together.
Compare that to now. We wake up and go to work. We email back and forth a little or send each other text messages throughout the day. After getting home, talking to various people on the phone, going to the grocery store (which always makes me feel like a family, especially at Harmons. Love Harmons.), running errands and watching a little TV, we say goodnight. Sometimes we go to the gym, work on our websites, and more lately John has been trying to take some concentrated time to write. At the end of the day, we’ve spent just a few hours together. We’re both so tired, we go home to our separate beds and sleep. Usually I get a little sad that we have to say goodbye. On the weekends we try to plan some fun things to do in with all the things we just want and need to have done about the wedding and around the house- and then there’s church. And then the week starts again.
This is what was running through my head as we were driving towards Manti last night. At first I felt a little sad that things had changed so much that I was more concerned with sleep than just getting away and having an adventure, but then I started thinking about how although my feelings aren’t so impulsive and reckeless as they were before, they have definitely deepened and become more consistent. I don’t necessarily need to get away and go on long drives until early in the morning (as romantic as the gas prices are currently…) I really do just love sitting on the futon, sending emails and watching a movie with John, convincing myself to eat dried fruit instead of the big monster peanut butter cup in the fridge. I like, every once in awhile, when he figures something out on joomla or sees something funny on TV when he laughs and the corners of his eyes crinkle up and I think, “Yup, we’re going to be pretty happy.” Not to say we don’t need to get out and do something now and again- but I think we’ve got it pretty good.
Learning to share is sometimes hard, as well. My brother recently moved in, so he demands more of my and our attention these days. Also, just making time that we each spend with family and friends, whether it be going out to visit someone together or finding time to spend with other people alone. It’s good and healthy to NOT be together every single moment that we’re free, but it’s defintiely an adjustment. I’m right in the middle, on one side looking at the people who are just beginning to date and devoting every moment to beng together, and looking at the other side finding those who have been married for awhile, juggling time between work, church callings, life “chores” that just need to get done, extended family, and da da dummmmmm…..kids. I guess there are all kinds of seasons of life, and I can’t honestly say that I have any idea what’s coming up. Things seem to change and evolve so quickly, and it makes me very, very happy for the eternal nature of our relationship. The most amazing thing about getting married in Manti is NOT that it looks like a castle (although it does) and not that it holds special sentiment to our family (although it does). The most amazing thing is that we will not only be married, but also sealed together. That means that no matter what, we belong to each other. It’s the most beautiful aspect of our faith- a marriage in the temple means that we will always, always be together. So if we seem a little busy just trying to get through life and make good on all of our plans and study and work and write and cultivate relationships with our families, we’re not loosing time together at all. Ultimately, time is what we have an eternity full of.
All that said, I will be very happy when he doesn’t have to go home at night anymore. He’ll come home instead :)
