Little Kite Girl

Happy Fourth of July!  I was just reading the Star Spangled Banner (yes…reading, not singing) and came across the line from whence I drew the title of this blog.  There are no better words to hint at the kind of feelings I’m having this year- very deep.  But I’ll leave them to stand on their own, spare you my exact patriotic and political thoughts this celebratory season- and just take a moment to hope for better things to come and appreciate all the good things we do have.

We haven’t really left the house today- for a few reasons…really.  #1: Hannah Montana happens to be performing a couple miles down the road- which doesn’t bode well for traffic or annoyance levels. #2: I hadn’t really realised this until I was browsing some other blogs…but we didn’t get invited anywhere.  Honestly, we wouldn’t have gone for reason #3, but still…it has contributed to our lack of festivities.  #3: I am sick.  No, not a cold.  No, not the flu.  No, not pregnancy grossness- the doctor thinks that I have a honest-to-goodness parasite.  For shizzle.  And if you don’t want the details, you might want to skip the next paragraph.

So- I haven’t pooed normally since…well, probably last summer.  There were a lot of reasons, but mainly- I was just irregular.  Until a few weeks ago.  Some time around the beginning of June, I got sick.  It was like someone flipped a switch in my colon and I went from no action at all to WAY too much action.  I thought it was just pregnancy-related (weird stuff happens all the time when growing another human being) and moved on.  Until it got worse- and worse, and lasted too long.  I called the nurse at my doctor’s office and she told me to take Imodium….which I had been banned from…but I did for a couple of days to get through church and work and stuff.  Well…when it hardly helped, I went to Urgent Care.  It had been too long, and I was too uncomfortable…and yeah.  The doctor asked me if I had been swimming recently…not so much.  Then he asked if I had been around cattle or livestock…farm animals.  Enter the cutest little sheep ever that I fed with a bottle the last weekend in May.  And the horses and the ducks the goats and the other animals on John’s parent’s property.  I was SO CAREFUL about washing my hands after touching the animals, but apparently, not careful enough.  Either that, or washing isn’t enough.  Because I apparently have something.  The issue is..because I took Imodium for a couple of days I can’t take the “test” to find out what it is until Monday.  So that means a weekend of agony…which means….not BBQs for us.  It’s been fun, that’s for sure.  I’m just hoping we can find out what it is and that they have something that won’t hurt Camper that will get rid of it.  Because I gotta tell you- well no, I don’t gotta tell you.  And I’ll spare you.  You just don’t want what I have, promise.  It does make me feel a little better though…I thought I was just a super-weak pregnant woman- no stamina.  Turns out- I have plenty of stamina, it’s just been used up quickly by my little boy and his neighbor…the parasite…who I hear can’t hurt him at all.  More news on that on Tuesday, probably.

It’s been a rough week or so.  I’ve loved visiting family this summer- and although our visits were short- they wore me out.  I think I’m ready for some rest and for no more road trips or planes for a bit.  Work and school and getting ready for Camper are about all I can handle at the moment…all week I’ve just been singing that Alanis Morrisette song in my head…

that I would be loved even when I numb myself
that I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
that I would be loved even when I was fuming
that I would be good even if I was clingy

So, that I would be good.  I’m lucky for a husband who can roll well with all the crazy things I try to do, and then the freak outs when I can’t achieve every single thing I put my mind to.  At some point in this life I have to learn exactly how many hours there are in a day, and how much one person can do.  I guess that’s why I’m so glad there’s two of us.  If I need John so much now, with Camper still internal- I KNOW I am going to need him come September.  Good thing this family thing is a group project.