Soo…I am a zombie. I laid down to go to bed last night and knew it was going to be fruitless. It’s amazing how I can tell. So I read Stepford Wives to see if I could make myself tired, or at least be entertained. (It’s a short book, doesn’t take long to get through.) After that I was still wide awake with an achy back. John brought me the ice pack and that helped for a bit, but I soon noticed that every time I moved or shifted I was waking him up a little. I think he’s convinced that the baby will pop out any minute. So I went out into the living room and watched TV for a couple of hours and then laid back down. 6am seems to be the magic hour where I can sleep for a bit, that was a relief. But I’m starting to HATE going to bed! Sleeping during the day seems to work out ok, I can get comfy and sleep soundly, but when it gets dark and quiet and TIME to sleep, my body rebels. I have to go to the bathroom, I have brackston hicks, the baby kicks and keeps me awake, I can’t lay comfortably for my back. Last night my belly was just sooo harrrrddd. So pregnant ladies- what do I do? I hear this is normal, but what do you DO so that you don’t go crazy watching infomercials at 3am? I considered going out for a walk, but figured if I was eaten by a horse or ran into a crazy stalker or even just fell over John and my Mom would be very mad. So in the house I stayed. Suggestions welcome.
Archive for August, 2008
Confessions of a Pregnant Insomniac
Saturday, August 30th, 2008Just Another Day Probed by Healthcare Professionals
Friday, August 29th, 2008Today we slept in a wee because we had a morning appointment with our baby doctor. I was told, through her examinations, that Camper is indeed head down (although the ease with which she was able to figure that out made me a little scared that he has a monster-sized dome), that I’m pretty much ready to go any time (we did the strep test today in prep for birth), and that she’s ready to discuss the birth-plan type arrangements whenever we are…although she says, “Most of them, honestly, are pretty much the same.” Which actually comforts me a little. She seems to favor a sooner than later labor situation, which is comforting as well. Although my iron is up (as is my weight :( ) I am still on the low-side of nourished, so we’ll just keep working on it as we have been and hoping it gets high enough to sustain me through the birthing process. She also indicated that we can do whatever we want with regard to immunizations at birth, but her opinion is that they rarely cause the problems that people claim them to cause, and in some cases could not cause the problems that people claim they cause. She’s a big advocate of the Vitamin K shot, and I think the only other one we have to yay or nay is Hepatitis…I think they save the other ones until later checkups. We will see, I’ve got to find out a little more info about it.
In other news- I think we are seriously ready. We took a little trip to the store tonight for some butt cream and wipes and changing table stuffs…and really…I don’t think we should be allowed to buy anything else. So bring it on, Camper! We’re ready!!
Work today felt a little long- getting ready for payroll next week. I’m now training my replacement, which is a lot of work. Don’t get me wrong, she is so nice and I’m very VERY glad she accepted our offer. She is very capable and my favorite candidate for sure. I just didn’t realise that training in general… is hard. I don’t think I’ve ever had to explain such a large amount of specific processes and information with someone before. Everything I do I have to talk through- and I didn’t really realise how effortlessly I go through the tasks of the day. I guess I have been doing all this for awhile now, and again, I’m reminded that I do like (most of) the work. I’m just glad that I randomly got this payroll job with a bunch of fun people and was able to learn and gain confidence in a new skill set. Another little something that has expanded me a bit that I just stumbled into. I’m sad to let it go…but I’m working toward it. Maybe in a couple weeks I can cut down a little more to make sure I’m not overtired for when the baby comes. It’s amazing how much I can want to be lazy and not work at all, but be so reluctant to let it go, too.
I guess it’s just so final. I just won’t be working. And even if I wanted to, we’d have to figure out what to do with this new little person we’ve created. Crazy, huh? We are going to have someone else to worry about. Someone who can’t drive or stay home alone…or even eat without me giving him food. A litttllee tripppyyyy if you ask me.
So yes, we’ve got a restful long weekend ahead of us. We’re probably going to hide tomorrow, seeing as how BYU is playing the first game of the season down the street. Traffic hell, anyone? My Mom cleaned the entire house while I was at work today (I asked her what her plans were for the day and she said, “Oh, I don’t know,” and was TOTALLY planning on cleaning everything, I KNOW it) so we can all relax tomorrow. She’s a good one, huh? I’m totally spoiled. Maybe I’ll read something. Or watch a movie. Or lay in the backyard. We’ll see. I just know I’m NOT going to work, and I’m NOT buying baby stuff. Or any stuff if I can help it. Just reellaaaxxxx…..
Oh What a Day
Thursday, August 28th, 2008It’s actually been a good couple of days. Camper-centered, like usual. He’s been on the top of our minds and people have showered us with gifts for our little baby to be. Yesterday we got a HUGE box from our Groton family. TONS of clothes, I can’t even believe it. Looks like BabiesRUs exploded in Camper’s room. When my cousin Sara’s baby was born he kind of just “skipped” the whole newborn clothes stage- he was a big one- and has just gotten bigger, so he was kind enough to share. Thanks Sara, Auntie and Melissa for sending your love this way!! Then today the girls at work threw me a shower. It was amazing- they got me tons of bath stuff and clothes and baby pruning tools and the cutest baby book ever. My Mom came too, and even though she’s given me a gift at my other two showers (one in MA and one in Herriman with family), she came with even more!! I thought it was tricky yesterday when she came home from “the park” without the book she always takes to read, and then wouldn’t look at me until I stopped asking where she had been ;) She’s a tricky one- she got me the warm jumper I wanted for Camper AND the cutest PJ’s with bears and moose and racoons on it AND a breast pump. I actually can’t even remember all the things people have given us, it’s an amazing show of love and support. So thanks to all our family and friends that have given us so much from the very earliest stages of this pregnancy!
Pregnancy is once again changing on me. I’ve gotten hungrier again, even waking up feeling like I want to eat in the middle of the night. I’ve tried to stifle that urge a bit…I want milk ALL THE TIME, and I’m starting to get more tired at work again. I think that has a lot to do with the fact that we’ve hired my replacement and I’m in the beginning stages of training her. My back is also killing me…but I hear that’s to be expected. More exciting, though, is that Camper is getting really really strong. I felt him stretching the other morning and it was so slow and deliberate, he is such a real little person. I’m hoping that we’ll have good news with regard to my iron at my appointment tomorrow, but honestly, it’s nice to not have to worry about Camper’s health anyway. Just don’t beef up in there too much Little Man…
John goes back to school next week, and I’ll keep on working and doing as much as I can. I think the time might be approaching when I’ll need a little more rest. I got home last night and asked John, “What if I go into labor at the end of a day and am already exhausted?” I think I need to try a little harder to not get so run down. We’ll see what I can do about that…
But as for now, I’m just enjoying life with baby internal. I’m really, really enjoying having my Mom here. I tried to explain to her today that I’m actually starting to feel spoiled- do you know many people who have someone there to help them get the food they need and do the cleaning that needs done and drop them off and pick them up and basically just lives life in a constant state of, “What can I do for you?” I hope that I can be as good a Mom as she is, selfless and patient. Cause I know I’m not an easy one to help. At least I’m giving her a pretty grandbaby boy to say thanks. The only thing that’d make it even better would be to have my Dad close by. I don’t like the idea of them being apart for so long. Thanks for letting me have her for awhile, Dad. She helps me so much!
Oh yes- and since I’m naming people I love- I have a pretty good husband, too. He is amazingly good at finding the exact food I need before I decide I don’t need it anymore, and very, very good at making me smile when I wake up in the morning. Enough mushiness for now, I think it’s time for a bath.
I Have an Amazing Auntie
Monday, August 25th, 2008I was just browsing some sites and found this one: http://www.savvyauntie.com/. Finally, a site that realizes that Aunties are amazing, vital parts of our lives!! It’s a community site for Aunts who don’t have children of their own, but might as well with all they do for their nieces and nephews. So, my Auntie Paulette, maybe you should check it out! There are other Aunties out there, too! But none as good as you :)
Perhaps the Most Ridiculous Day Ever
Monday, August 25th, 2008So, I was up all night last night and sorely tempted to stay in bed allll daaay long today. Contrary to this impression, I did get up and go to work, which is where all the ridiculousness started. I sat down and started updating my spreadsheets, all normal-like, just enjoying a plastic container of blueberries my Mom sent me with. Then it turned out that we had an interview coming in for my position, which went REALLY well (we ended up hiring her, I start training her tomorrow, but that’s another story), but took half the afternoon. So afterwards I went back to my desk expecting to get a few things done when I get a phone call- it’s HR. They inform me- get this- that I’ve been selected for random drug testing. I get to pee in a cup, yay! So I waddle down there to find a tall, blonde, frantic woman following me into the bathroom. The first thing she says to me is, “Are you sure you have to pee? Because I only have so many cups.” Ummmm….is it not her job to provide the cups? Plus, I’m pregnant. It can feel like Niagara Falls is waiting to be released only to give way to a few measly drops. Gaging my ability to pee isn’t first priority these days. Anyway, so I do my business only to have her bang on the door and inform me I only have 4 minutes, and then WALK IN ON ME. Seriously- I was only in there for like…2…max. Then she proceeds to chat about how I’m pregnant and should be able to pee on demand, etc. etc. etc. The BEST part, though, and the part I’m actually going to report to HR tomorrow, is when I told her I was on Prednisone so that if my urine came up all full of drugs she’d know what they were, and she said, “THAT IS A HORRIBLE MEDICATION.” In front of everyone- as if I’m some kind of horrible woman for taking it. It was as if the doctor said, “Here, to cure your horrible, uncomfortable mystery disease we have either a) steroids or b) fruit loops and kitten kisses,” and I said “Bring on the hard stuff.” Feeling the emotion rise in my everything I turned to her and said, “Thank you very much for judging my medication.” That is when everyone turned to look at me like, “Uh oh, Erin’s going postal.” The woman balked and floundering a bit said, “Oh, it’s just that my sister was on it for a long time and it turned out really badly.” To which I replied, “And amazingly, your second comment worse than your first. You should just stop.” Ok- so it’s a sensitive subject to me. I don’t want to be on medication, and the only other meds I Could take cost almost $300 a month. And my OBGYN and my GI have said it’s ok, and honestly, I just avoided a colonoscopy, and I’m just sick. And all of those feelings came to a head on this woman who felt the need to treat me like a criminal and then judge me openly. So anyway, after that, I went home.
We decided to take my Mom to Applebees for a THANKS MOM dinner treat (because she is so amazing, and takes care of me so well, and deserves some Applebees sometimes) and thus commences weird experience number two. The waiter comes up and takes our drink orders and follows it up with, “I’m sorry, I’m going to have to look at your rings.” I immediately felt confused, wondering if there were some new law in place that required me to be married to have a Pepsi. The waiter then GRABBED MY HAND and stuck his face down close to my rings- apparently he is looking for one for his finance. But still, he touched me, it was weird. He was actually a good waiter…but…the only word is weird. He asked my Mom if she didn’t like veggies because she didn’t finish all her millions of broccoli, and she said, “I ate a few trees.” In all seriousness he turned to her and replied, “In that case, would you like some dessert?” I about bust a gut. The crappiest part of it all was that John and I both got endless plates of various things and neither of us could make it through even ONE serving of dinner. The waiter said “we didn’t prepare.”
So yeah. It was a weird day with lots of weird feelings. And I think it’s probably about time to go to bed and just read some stuffs. And that’s it. Because I can’t deal with any more full bellies or pee cups or waiters touching me. I just hope hope hope I can sleep tonight- because I don’t want to be wandering a dark house looking for bagels at 1am again. Not good for me, yo.
The Weekend Ends
Sunday, August 24th, 2008The weekend is dying down. It’s another one of those Sunday afternoons that I can’t really remember what it was that I’ve been doing for the last couple of days…
Friday was work and then we all stopped by my friend’s wedding reception to give our congratulations. It was just up the canyon, so we stopped in, said hi, had a brownie, and high tailed it back down. I can’t believe last summer it was me standing in a reception line thanking everyone for coming to see us. From receiving line to receiving blanket in one year. I’d say we don’t waste any time.
Saturday was pretty restful. We went and saw Alicia, Chad, and new baby Spencer. Spencer is such a cutie- 7lbs. and 7 oz. I can’t believe 7 lbs. can look so small. He seems like a pretty laid back baby. You know, most newborns are until they figure out the hunger situation and learn that crying gets people’s attention. Holding him made me want Camper on the outside even more- it’s so close to time. I’m anxious to hold him and wrap him and feed him, and see if with him on the outside this pain in my back goes away…But mostly just to hold him. It was funny during church today- John poked him and Camper poked back. They’re already playing around.
So yes…there was church today, more time checking up on Alicia and family, and then a nap. Hmmm…re reading this post I think I might be boring…but I HAVE been reading a lot more lately! Of the books I’ve really enjoyed there was The Beekeeper’s Apprentice, by Laure R. King. I didn’t think I’d like it at all, it’s kind of a mystery/coming of age type novel complete with Sherlock Holmes and kidnappings, etc. I really liked it though- and it’s a series- so perhaps I’ll have to pick up the rest. Then The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. (What’s with the bee theme?) I can’t believe I had never read that one before. Sad, but real. Then there was Little Men, Louisa May Alcott. It was really sweet to read, but one of those things that you can only take so much of before the sheer goodness of the characters starts to make you feel depressed. I’m kind of excited, because we started a book club at work, and the first one we chose was My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult. I really wanted to start something with the girls at work so that after the baby comes I still have an excuse to see them and get out a bit- maybe even a deadline of something to read. So I’m in the middle of that one, which seems a little weighty, perhaps. But good. And then last night I started reading Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged again. I meant to lend it to a friend, but when I got it out I wanted to remember what makes me so mad at it and still like it so much at the same time. So I guess if my posts seem a little low-action, it’s because most days if I’m not at work or taking a swim with John or my Mom, I’m laying in bed or in my chair and reading something. Here’s to justified laziness as I finish growing my baby :) But as for now, I’m thinking a little walk around the canyon might be in order before I come back home to resume Sunday restfulness.
Why I Love John
Tuesday, August 19th, 2008As I smush my face against John’s face for about 45 seconds, he looks at me quizzically out of the corner of his eye. When I finally pull away he says:
“Was that just a really long sniff-kiss?”
I laugh. “Yes.” I laugh until I snort.
“And was that a snort laugh?”
“Yesssssss……”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Are You Kidding?
Tuesday, August 19th, 2008Let me begin by saying some of the following books could be very helpful resources when considering birth and babies. I’m not even judging these books by their covers…just by their titles. I’ve never read any of them. However, in a recent search for something new to read, I ran across these and just had to mock them. Just had to.
Birthing From Within by Pam England and Rob Horowitz
As if there is another option….
Episiotomy : Challenging Obstetric Interventions by Ian D. Graham
Yes, please let me pay you an enormous co-pay and then challenge your interventions.
Husband Coached Childbirth by Dr. Robert Bradley
Something tells me I’ll be telling him what to do that day.
Unassisted Childbirth by Laura Kaplan Shanley
Please, if I go into labor, assist me. Thank you.
Aromatherapy for Pregnancy and Childbirth by Margaret Fawcett
I can only imagine a tiny pot of scented oil being thrown at the wall because really…it won’t help. I think we’ve gone to far trying to take control of uncontrollable situations.
Birth As An American Rite of Passage by Dr. Robbie Davis-Floyd
Oh come on. Do we really need to claim everything?
