We’ve been in MA for over two weeks now. Looking at the dates, I could’ve sworn we’ve been here longer. I guess it feels so long because we are still job seeking and trying to get ourselves together on this side of the world. John has been filling out lots of applications and went yesterday to check some things out, so say a prayer that we find something soon. Soon would be very, very good.
Today he went into the city (as in…Manhattan) to attend the temple. I’ve never been to the Manhattan Temple, but I hope to go soon when I’ve been to the doctor and HOPEFULLY am able to travel with less discomfort. (Next week people, hopefully we’ve figured out what it is this time…) John and I don’t spend much time apart from one another, but since Bubby has arrived we’ve had to do more things on our own. We take turns doing things we need/want to do that require us to be baby-free, and although I am a wee jealous that John gets to walk around the city (it would be nice to hold his hand and meander in the sunshine) I am honestly just glad he went. For us the temple is a place where you can find extra peace, direction, and sometimes just a couple hours away from the rest of the world to center yourself and remind yourself of what is really, truly important. And before you say it…I COMPLETELY agree, you don’t need to go to a special place to speak to God- that can happen anytime- and you don’t even need to go to a special place to hear from Him, anyone anywhere can hear from Him anytime. BUT, sometimes it helps us feel his presence more directly when we do something special to remind ourselves to listen better. Today John has driven a couple of hours and boarded a train and will take various other types of transport to get to the temple, at which time he will leave it all behind and hopefully have a couple hours of peaceful contemplation and hopefully feel…well…peace. Everything will work out.
Aside from seeking for peace, and patience, I’m also seeking for some structure. It’s so hard to feel good about what I do all day. In some ways…it doesn’t. When I’m snuggling Camper or talking to him or reading to him or playing with him, it feels good. But sometimes I just feel like I’m just, here. He honestly doesn’t need me every second, but he needs me often enough that it’s hard to do something else without interruption. We talk and sing and read and cuddle and exercise…but what I get done in between is difficult to figure out. Anyone have an endless list of fulfilling 15 minute activities? I think I’m going to make it my priority to apply to school in the next few days, so at least I’m working towards that goal and getting it done. Funnily enough, Camper doesn’t mind me being on the computer. He likes to sit on my lap and watch me type for 20-30 minutes at a time. Maybe he’ll learn to read this way?
We’ll see!
Tags: All About Baby, life, religion
