It has been a good day today. In order to get myself OUT of the rainy day funks, I looked up somewhere we could go today, shine or no shine. I found a little natural history museum, passes available at the local library, and we set off. Bubbs, Grandma and Mommy. It was literally 15 minutes from my house (if that), and with a free pass I didn’t feel pressure to make sure we stayed for a long time to get our money’s worth. We hadn’t been there 10 minutes before the Bubbs pooped himself…but we rolled with it.
He saw turtles (who saw him, too!), fish, chameleons, and lots of other stuff. There was an “innovation” room where he got to draw, and where I gained some insight into life.
As I sat, awake, again, last night, wondering WHICH plan I should use to get my baby to sleep better, to eat better, to be more predictable, to do more things that I want and feel like I need to do…I came to the conclusion that I’d let him cry it out during naptimes. Although I couldn’t handle it at night, I thought for sure I could handle it during the day. Why not? Monsters are always less scary when the sun is out. Well, after only 30 minutes of trying this afternoon, I gave up. And when I saw this sign, it all just clicked. STOP WORRYING SO MUCH. The inconvenience of have an unpredictable child can be managed, but the emotional stress of trying to control him cannot. He’s a good baby! Of COURSE he’s not useless! We can go places, we can have fun together. He laughs, he plays, he loves his family. I have a good, good baby. So once again, I’m giving up the control game. One more time. Let’s hope it sticks now. (And for the record, I never thought he was useless. Broken maybe, off kilter…but not useless.)
Happy baby? Check.
Full, busy life? Check.
Loving family? Check.
A relationship with my Loving Heavenly Father? Check.
Get a little something done every day? Check.
That is success.
Who needs the sun? (I DO. I DO. That’s bravado, promise.)
Forgot to say thanks for the advice on swaddling. It’s funny how motherhood makes you second guess EVERYTHING. I often lay awake at night trying to figure out if I should let him cry it out, pick him up, swaddle, unswaddle…it’s frustrating, but I so agree with you. Sometimes just CHILLING OUT is the best answer for me. :) Thanks for the reminder!
Ah the swaddle. I heart the swaddle.
[...] after this post, things steadily disintegrated. No amount of wu wei could save me from tears last [...]