Once upon a time I worked in accounting. I was responsible for getting people paid, and sometimes things happened. Sometimes the systems didn’t work the way they were supposed to, sometimes people didn’t…sometimes I had to take lots of money out of people’s paychecks because of mistakes they made or things they didn’t pay for. I remember a comment I made once when someone got upset because their direct deposit didn’t go through and they weren’t able to pay their bills. I didn’t say it to his face, of course, but behind his back. Which is why, I’m sure, that it’s coming back to bite me. The haughty words of fasle confidence were:
“I have enough money in my account whether or not I get paid today at 8am. Why don’t people have their lives together?”
I, like many other students/recent grads out there, was confused. I thought that having some money left over from my student loan in my account meant that I had my life together. I thought that I had money. I didn’t realize that what I had sitting in my account was debt.
Today was the first time ever that I had to sit down and look at our account and wonder if and when bills were going to clear. I unwisely spent my food budget for two weeks last week, thinking that I’d get a bigger load of stuff while John was still here, putting off shopping until he got back. Then we went out to see a movie, something we haven’t done in months. I knew I was going over budget, but I didn’t realize that $40 would be such a big deal to me. I wrote a personal check for another monthly expense, I went about my Sunday…and then last night it hit me. Car payment, due today. Scheduled to be taken out of our account automatically. Paycheck, coming on Wednesday, scheduled to come automatically. The chronology of the situation wasn’t working out. Add to that some gas for the car, our frivilous Harry Potter weekend, the check I wrote, and whatever else was pending…and I started to get upset.
The thing is, we had scheduled money from savings to go into our checking account. It was supposed to be there. It would cover everything, but it didn’t go today. We hope it gets there tomorrow. We sold some stock. Hopefully that money turns up soon. There is money there to cover our needs, but if we can’t get at it, what good is it? I asked my Mom to cover us til Wednesday, and although she lovingly told me “We’ve all been there,” I still feel like crap about it. I know that John feels powerless, a couple hours away, he scheduled everything the other night and moved the money to where it needed to be…and it’s just not going. I don’t know what will happen if everything tries to clear and it doesn’t. It’s never happened to me before.
Seriously, on Wednesday everything could be just fine. Two days from now. We could have the other money transferred and we get paid and we promise to be a little more thrifty with what we spend, again, (honestly! one movie in 9 months…SERIOUSLY!!!) and the world goes on spinning. Or some other random charge comes up and I’m left wondering again.
Really, everyone goes through this?
I hope for the time when we have paycheck(s) that cover needs AND wants, when we are able to save enough to REALLY have a cushion. Not one made up of money that we had to fill out the FAFSA to qualify for. We can do it, I just pray we’re given time to get there. I think we’ve learned quite a lot in this economy. A lot a lot. And I’m going to tell you, once we get our feet under us, or even one foot, we’re not going to let it slip. Maybe it’s a small lesson that will save us the big one.
I hesitate to write posts like this because they are, of course, SUPER way TOTALLY completely too personal. But you know what? I don’t care. If someone can learn from our naivete, or if someone else can feel a little less desperate because Holy Crap she is going through this, too! Then so be it. I’ve gained strength from your stories, so here you go. My sad little situation this evening, for your reassurance. Your boat has a hole in it? Mine does too. But we’re fixing it, don’t worry.
Tags: again, money, too much info
We’ve all been there.
Seriously.
Ohhhh…I am SO right there with you. And yes, I think everyone DOES go through this. At least, I hope. It makes you stronger…or at least, that’s what I hear.
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