Little Kite Girl

So after my weekly (haha, yeah right) breakdown yesterday crying about life and just freaking out in general about holycraplaundrydustingdishesyourdayoffwewon’tdoanythingfuntogether John was like, “Hey, why don’t you go get your toes done?” Yes, expensive. But less expensive than therapy. Or so I hear.

I asked my mother to come along and we went to yet ANOTHER place looking for a replacement for the great Spicy Nails we found in Utah when I was pregnant.

We sat down in the chairs and stuck our feet in the water and I thought I was going to DIE. It was like when you stick your foot in the bath and it hurts and itches at the same time and you hop around the bathroom all nekked and then have to stand there with your arms wrapped around yourself with the cool water on for a few. Except that I was not nekked, not alone, and the guy doing my nails looked at me like, “Wimp.” So I just closed my eyes and tried to bear it. Then I noticed a weird kind of bubble/soap globule floating on top of the water that looked mysteriously like the weird bubbles floating in the hot tub the night of the Victoria’s Secret Whirlpool Dermititus Incident. (Yeah. That landed me in the hospital with a fever, a rash and a doctor thinking I had shingles and hooking me up to IV’s when really I just needed some meds cause the hot tub was CONTAMINATED.) I tried not to think about it. The guy took my foot out of the water and started to do his thing, except that my foot looked like a bloated lobster.

So he added some cool water.

So after that it went ok, except for the fact that the whole process (Spa Pedicure? Anyone?) involved a few different kinds of scrubbing, clipping and moisturizing. At one point they put my feet in plastic bags full of searing hot wax while putting icy cold lotion on my calves, and I literally thought,

“Holy crap. I’m going to pee myself.”

Meanwhile my Mom is fine. Shes takes REALLY HOT baths, so the heat wasn’t getting to her.

They finally got my feet scrubbed and pruned and de-waxed and started the whole toe-nail painting process. I stared in wonder at my legs and felt like my feet were very, very clean. And then all of a sudden we were done and my mom and I looked at each other and were like, “That’s it?” To have all of that deliberation just to have it end like that. I don’t know what I was expecting at the end but it definitely would have included more hurting and more blood. (Oh yeah, did I tell you at one point my mother and I both saw blood coming out of my foot into the water? Huh? He didn’t say anything so neither did I.)

And while we were waiting for our toes to dry a woman from CANADA (she announced it very loudly) came in to get her eyebrows waxed. She had to sit on a kitchen stool as the guy kind of straddled her to get at her eyebrows. Eyebrows and lap dance in one, apparently. How awkward. I wonder if she tipped extra.

So yeah. I don’t think we’ll go back to that place. But they look pretty.

This entry was posted on Friday, February 26th, 2010 at 2:40 pm and is filed under Day to day. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.