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Not Twins.

Wednesday, March 16th, 2011

So Cy has had a little friend he calls Ah-na since he was about 8 months old.  Ah-na’s Mom and I bonded over carrying around our huge 8 month olds, and our babies started walking around the same time.  Although we both still carry them a lot.  Our kids get along.  We do some of the same activities, and our kids could pass as siblings. They have the same color hair. They also both like to eat at Panera.

After music class today, we went to the bouncy house.  Then we went to Target.  I love the looks we get wondering if the kids are twins, which one of us is the Mom, or because it’s Massachusetts…the “one who carried.”  We’re looking for houses and I want to look at one on Ah-na’s street, because seriously, how cute is this?

Cy loves to hold her hand.  When she lets him.

And here’s some proof that he’s been trying to hold her hand for YEARS.

October, 2009

I just realized that if they ever grow up and get married, I’ll have EXCELLENT pictures for the slideshow.

In other news, I picked out a preschool for Cy in September and signed him up.  I know some people don’t do preschool, but I think we’re both ready.  I think he’ll have a blast, and I’ll get a few more hours to get the house clean/do school work, grow a new baby (just throwing that one out there to see how it sounds, I am NOT pregnant). I think at least two of Cy’s other “music school” friends are going to join the same class/day, and I’m blown away thinking that Cy could really grow up in one neighborhood/school district through graduation.  It’s totally possible.  I think I went to 5 different elementary schools?  When I signed up for a Baby and Me class in 2009 I never thought, “Cy could know these kids for life.”  But he really could, and coming from a Navy brat, that’s kind of cool.

Good chance Cy and Ah-na would stay friend till middle school when it gets awkward to be boy/girl friends, and then one would have an unrequited crush on the other, and you know how that story goes.  Sigh.  But still, AWESOME!

Other Cy news:

He has the big boy bed! I’ll have to take some pictures and post them here.  We got all the way through songs tonight before he asked to go back in his crib.  Gotta tell you, I didn’t see that one coming.  I wonder if we’ll just have to put the crib away before he’ll stay in the BBB overnight.

He got some really cute things he’s saying/doing, too.

For example, he sings “Rain, Rain, Go Away” but it’s New England style.

“Rainy Day! Snowy Day! Nother one Nother one Nother one day!”

He also has a new fascination with Saturdays.  He told us on Sunday that he’d like to ride a horsie next Saturday.  His exact words were, “Ride horsie? This Saturday? NEEIIIGHHHHH!!!!” We said no.  He said, “See cows? This Saturday? MOOOOOOOOO!!!!”  That we can arrange.

Another new amusing Cyism: Two Dollars.  He calls Walmart “Two Dollars.”  The current hypothesis is that he saw a price tag on some soap in the bathroom with the Walmart symbol on it, asked “What this?” and my Mom (or someone) said, “It says $2!” Now, whenever he sees Walmart he asks, “Go Two Dollars? Buy car?”  But I just switched our pharmacy to Target.  So we don’t have occasion to go to Two Dollars much anymore.

So yes.  My kid is still cute.  He has cute friends.  We’re looking for a house.  Considering giving our only child a sibling.  Living life.  Hoping that the currently stability lasts and grows.  And blogging less, as you can see.

Sorry about that.

Goodbye Facebook.

Tuesday, July 27th, 2010

Soooooo……I’m giving up Facebook.

Is this worth posting about?

Yes. Yes it is.

For the record, I’ve really loved Facebook for keeping in touch with people from all the different parts of my life.  I like to update with pictures of my son throughout the day for family who live out of town, or to just generally brag about his cuteness…and I have always tried to keep things low-key.  Happy updates, maybe some griping about lack of sleep (what Mom isn’t comforted by knowing another Mom is up at 2am as well?)  but even still it’s started to become the wrong kind of distraction.  More and more I have to wonder about the social ramifications of friending or unfriending someone.  Before I go, however, I’d like to share some thoughts I’ve had with you.  These thoughts have been spinning around in my head for months now. MONTHS. (Thoughts, by the way, that have used up valuable brain space. Looking forward to freeing that up.)  My hope is that if you read this, you will not feel like what I’m writing is in response to something you did on FacebookPlease do not think that I’m writing this message for you or someone else in particular. I’m sharing the following thoughts because I have seen SO MANY PEOPLE get caught up in these situations.  I’ve even gotten caught up in a few.  I finally just have to say something so that it can get out of my head.

#1) Facebook is not a substitute for a real conversation, much less a real relationship.

Quite simply, Facebook has made people lazy.  Myself included.  It’s easy to write a note on someone’s birthday (a birthday I wouldn’t have remembered without facebook’s reminders) or feel like a good friend when I offer some supportive words on facebook.  But it’s not real.  If  Facebook augments a real relationship, it can be great.  But if you use it INSTEAD of actually fostering a relationship, it’s an illusion of friendship.  And I want to put real effort into my friendships. Facebook is also something to hide behind.  It is so much easier to write a wall post than confront someone that you need to have a conversation with. Easier, but not better.

In the next few days I’ll be going through my friends list and getting the contact info from my “friends.” Please, feel free to email me/call me/set up a time to come visit.  My email address is: erinhattaway@gmail.com or littlekitegirl@gmail.com.  As for my blog-friends, you’ll probably see me getting off my lazy-butt and actually clicking over from Google Reader to leave an actual comment on your actual blog.  Holy whoa.  Right?

#2) Facebook is not my only option.

It seems more and more that when someone leaves Facebook, people think, “Oh no, how will I talk to them?”  This, to me, is indicative of a pretty big problem.  Pick up the phone and call.  Email.  There are even other chat applications like AIM or Google Chat that will allow you to “chat” without a dose of daily drama, served up to you by the same people selling you Ugg boots in the sidebars and asking you to comment on the fact that someone’s brother-in-law just found a poor little seahorse and gave it a new home.

For those who like seeing pictures of my son, I’m going to be posting them here now.  We’re not going to make you jump through hoops or sign into another site.  It’ll just be right here, open to those who’d like to stay in the loop.  I’ve got some prep work to do before I can get it all up and running, but be patient and you’ll get your updates soon enough.  Thanks for expressing interest in seeing him.  Because that’s important to me.  I LOVE that you like to keep up with how he’s growing, that you enjoy seeing his truck tucked neatly into his cereal bowl.  Technology allows us to share so much, and I will not take that for granted.  But I’d just like to do it on my own terms.  Also, trusting Facebook security is a joke anyway, and we’re not as wary of the Internet as we were in the beginning.  So I’ll be posting pictures, videos, and daily updates right here on this site and I would LOVE it if you would stop by.  Leave comments.  Email me, call me, or set up a time to get together so that you can see my son live and in person.

Do remember though, that just because you can see him doesn’t mean he can see you.  And if you want to be a part of his life, showing up when he’s 15 and saying, “I’ve seen you grow up on Facebook!” isn’t going to make him feel a closeness to you.  You are welcome to get to know him in person.  Have him learn your name, or the car you drive…which seems to be how he identifies people lately? Oh boy… Let’s set up a playdate.  It doesn’t need to be all the time, we’re all busy.  If we can swing a visit once a year or more, it’s better than nothing.  It’s better than an anonymous relationship with extended family or once dear friends over Facebook.  Hey! I’d even be willing to set up a Skype Chat with any family members or friends who wanted to say hi to my little boy “in person” but can’t make the drive.

#3) I don’t have to put up with the bad to get the good.

I had a lot of people say “I have totally been tempted to give up Facebook, too! I just can’t.”  And I felt that way.  There are SO MANY PEOPLE that I only talk to because of Facebook, but you know what? I’m going to try and make this work.  I’m going to try and reach out, make the same facets of my life that I LOVE sharing on Facebook available through this site, make more phone calls, visit people more often.  I think we can do it.  I don’t have to put up with all the bad to get the good.  I’m going to figure out how to get the good.  And it’ll be just fine.

4) I refuse to be part of a community where bullies go unchecked.

Facebook is used to bully every day.  I’ve seen it happen to my family, I’ve seen it happen to friends, I’ve seen it happen to people I don’t even know.  One person makes a comment about someone, and all of a sudden you’ve got a group of people talking about the “incident” or the “information” or whatever is circulating.  In a matter of seconds, with a few clicks of a mouse or keys on a keyboard a misunderstanding or a legitimate and private disagreement between two people can become one vs. the many.  I will not always be able to avoid this in life.  People are going to bully other people and say hurtful things in public forums and cast shame on their family and friends in a million different ways.  But this is one way, one place, that I don’t have to be.  I can simply not. log. in.  I can provide myself with other avenues of communication.  And that’s what I intend to do.

So those are my beefs with Facebook.  It’s going to be like ripping off a bandaid, I’m pretty sure.  I’ll probably miss having my statuses “liked,” which is always a bit of validation for me at the end of the day.  I’ll miss seeing the pictures you’ll post, although the people who post pictures on Facebook tend to have blogs I follow as well.  And I’ll miss the distraction, something to stare at when I really rather not be dealing with whatever I have to deal with at the moment.  But I think we all know without saying that it’s probably better in those moments to decompress in other ways.

I will not miss reading some piece of gossip about someone I don’t even know and thinking, “BURN! That was harsh!” because we could all deal with less harsh things in our lives.  I won’t miss worrying about un-friending someone I still care about but just don’t want to see the sordid details of their life they provide online, or the politics of who I friend or don’t and why. I will not miss political rants.  One. Little Bit.  Or the lost seahorses.  Or Mafia Wars, which I tried to “hide” a million times and it WOULD NOT GO AWAY.

And who knows? Maybe I’ll be more well-read, make  more time for running and being outside and away from the software application that I’ve let in so many ways determine what I think about, who I stay in touch with, what I want and who I talk to and what I have to say.

So goodbye Facebook.  Let me be clear.  It’s not me.  It’s You. ;)

*Sits and forces herself to blog.*

Thursday, October 29th, 2009

I was talking to a friend tonight (I KNOW, I HAVE SOME) and we were chatting about how I must be busier because I’m blogging less these days.  She said that awhile ago I was blogging like…4 times a day…and all of a sudden I’ve cut down to

sometimes.

Which is still way more often than a lot of YOU I’ll just say.

Anyway.

I’ve realized that I don’t blog less when I’m busy, I blog less when I see more adults during the day.  If, for instance, I’ve already told everyone I know that my son had a BRUISE tonight,  a bruise that is probably a result of him walking for the FIRST TIME yesterday (like, 3 steps, a few times! on purpose!) and when I touched the bruise it felt lumpy, and then I called the emergency doctor line and was told to draw a circle around it to see if it grows, which I then practiced on my hand and then drew on my child, and then freaked because he cried when I touched the bruise.  But REALLY, who DOESN’T while when someone pokes their bruise?  Then yeah. I probably won’t want to tell the story again.

And if, perhaps, I already told most people that I had a small panic attack about telling the doctor woman on the phone that the bruise was about the size of an adult fingertip…becuase she might think I poked my child…then yeah…I think it’s boring to blog about.

So it turns out I don’t blog less because I’m BUSY.  On the contrary, when I’m busy I’m also efficient and I can do SUPER AMAZING amounts of stuff like charm my mother into making alphabet beanbags for my son on my behalf (she also had to finish my cherry pie for Girl Scouts)(and oh yeah, I won the ribbon or award or whatever was winable for best pie by a 10 year old girl, total lie) and cook dinner and clean the floors and then blog about it all wittily and funnily and with more words than this.

But today I talked to at least…5 grownups.  And now I’m tired.  So I’ll have to blog about how we got very little done today TOMORROW.  Because I need to go to bed.

Things I’ve Left Unsaid

Friday, October 23rd, 2009

I’ve been blogging a little less, spending less time on the computer lately (which means I actually do housework and work on stuff while Camper naps…or he doesn’t nap and we play all day) and it seems like I’ve got some things backlogged in my brain.  The less I get on here the less I’m WANTING to- which is scaring me. I can’t even be bothered to add links to my posts lately. Historically, I’ve used this nice little site as an outlet for all of the MOMMY TALK that would and can bore the crap out of other people. Sometimes I think this blog is the one thing that keeps me from turning to random strangers in the grocery store and saying to them, “Do you have any idea what I found in my son’s diaper this morning?”

Not that I don’t have people to talk to.  I have a husband, parents, friends.  But still- there is a certain amount of OBSESSION that comes with being a mother that allows me to have a never-ending supply of things to talk about.

And then there’s the other part of me, the part that still wonders what she’ll do with school and work and life outside the Home one day and has nothing to do with diapers or children or laundry.  You don’t see that side of things a lot on the blog, but it’s there, swirling around in my mind here and there, too.

So the things I want to write about and haven’t are:

-Dealing with a sick baby.  So many people I know right now are dealing with moderately/seriously ill babies.  And it’s no fun.  I figured out a few things while Camper was under the weather, and being the good blog-gess I am, I need to shove them down your throat…er…share them.

-Camper’s new thing: mini-tantrums.  OH WOW.  People.  Yeah.  I went from having a baby who didn’t sleep all night and only cried when tired/hungry/hurt…to a baby who sleeps 12 hour stints at night and has 2 to 3 BREAK DOWNS during the day.  And when I say break down I mean he’s sitting in the bath all nice like thousands of times before and then all of a sudden he’s all:

“OH MY HOLY CRAP DID YOU REALLY JUST TURN OFF THE BATH WATER? NO! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t touch me.  Don’t even LOOK at me.  HOLD ME HOLD ME I don’t want the towel to touch me NOT A DIAPER!!!!!! I want to be back in the water NO NO NO NO NO I HATE WATER.”  Except with pointing and teeth clenching and head shaking and tears and THAT FACE.  The face that if you were walking around a store and you saw a grownup with it you would grab your baby and run to try to get to the door before it got blocked off because surely something just fell on the building and there isn’t enough water in here to keep us all alive until they get it off.

So anyway.  Back to the LIST.

-The whole SAHM thing.  Yeah.  That one.

-Extended families living together.  I’ve been meaning to write about this FOREVER AND EVER, but it’s something that’s pretty important to me and something I’ve learned a lot about in the last year.

-The fact that once again, I want to lose weight.  I lost it.  Then I gained…some…and it’s time for some focus.  Or less cheese sticks.  Or something.

-My whole attachment parenting thing.  Which I’m finding out is a bit far from actual attachment parenting.  Who knew?

-This crazy thing that keeps happening all of a sudden that I meet someone and find out that they’re younger than me.  EVERYONE IS NOW YOUNGER THAN ME.  When did this happen?

So yeah.  Maybe I’ll get to those posts sometime.  Maybe I won’t.  Because I’m a lazy blogger lately.

Please Standby

Wednesday, October 21st, 2009

I have gone into some kind of mental black hole where the lingering cold symptoms, the sudden arrival of TANTRUMS from my one year old (quick, Happiest Baby on the Block, teach me to say NO MORE SLIDE YOU WILL BONK YOURSELF and PLEASE EAT THE CARROTS in Caveman language…not working…) and the fact that I am currently caught up in some pretty strong opinions/thoughts that have little to do with me and a lot to do with others that I cannot share have all combined to stop me from blogging.

We will soon return to your regularly scheduled programming.

MiniFlux

Friday, September 25th, 2009

September 2009 055He pushed puzzle pieces around on his truck while I cleaned. It was super cute.

So, we are in a state of less flux now.  Still fluxy, but…less so.

Yes, I quit Target.  Whoa a lot of people responded to my little overnight experience.  I also read an article the day after the working experience which I found relevant to the whole situation.  I’m grateful that my little escapade into that kind of working environment was spurred on my wanting a little more wiggle room and not by absolute necessity.  In our bank account it’s a matter of dollars, honestly, but for what’s it worth…well…it wasn’t worth it.  But there are many women and men who are severely underemployed right now, and honestly…I don’t have the answers.  I just found the article and my experience compelling- and I’ll tell you that I’m now looking for ways to live a more provident lifestyle.  Like for example: this week we used coupons for our Secret Nugget runs to McDonald’s. (Yeah, I know, we need to do better than that.  Working on it!)

John has started his new position.  He was hired on as an Internal Auditor/Loss Prevention somethingorother for Kmart.  Again, underemployement (welcome to the area that we live)…but much more flexible underemployment.  And he gets his own office.  And doesn’t have to wear any kind of uniform.  And with about half the driving time as the job in Albany.  Hopefully this interesting new position will afford him more time with us and more time to work on his degree- and spend less time listening to people call in a complain about past sexual partners and their inability to support their offspring.  I mean, someone’s gotta do that job, but the turnover is high because it is not exactly uplifting work.  We’re both grateful for that to be over.  As soon as he gets a more set schedule I think we’ll fall back into a routine and life will be happy again.  He is also scheduled to take teacher licensure tests soon.  We’ve got some plans in that direction- and I think we’ve finally figured some crap out about ourselves and what we need to do to feel good about work.

Now if the economy would just capitulate…we’d be ever so grateful.

Our favorite conversation this past week has been all about China.  We want to go to China.  We’re fostering some serious dreams about teaching English, having Camper know more Chinese than Kai Lan, and coming home with another child.  We’re not all Angelina Jolie about it, but we’ve both always (even before we met) wanted to adopt at least one child.  We don’t anticpate this happening any time soon (definitely not before John finished his master’s degree) but I love talking about it.  Picturing it, although I have no idea what living in China would be like.  I remember when I lived in England I was surprised at how different things can actually be.  Grass, sidewalks, stores, food, even public toilets.  Coming back after being gone for almost two years was the same.  Odd, more different than I thought.  (The biggest difference was that everyone said: “CAN YOU SPEAK UP? I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”  Geez Americans are loud.) It was a sincerely expanding experience.  And we want that together as a family.  (Honestly, I don’t even think we’re that picky about the country.  Just one with decent medical care and stable government, and we’re there given the opportunity.  As long as you need a passport to get there.)

In other random thoughts: I’m starting to rethink my commitment to different public playgroups this winter.  I’m definitely going to do Music Together, but other than that and something that I think I’m going to try and organize through church, we might just be homebodies.  I realize that all this flu stuff isn’t as scary as some people are making it out to be, but I think staying home and working on projects and playing outside in the snow and occasionally hitting up the YMCA pool might be enough to keep us sane.  And less sickish.  And less poor.  The past three days with a cold/flu/teething baby (post vaccination nastiness) has made me want to work even harder on keeping us healthy this winter.  Doing things that I should be doing anyway will keep us pretty busy.  Cooking good food, maybe even baking bread.  Cleaning our home and taking care of our kid.  Teaching piano brings kids into the house that Camper loves to play with.  I think that I just need to redouble my domestic determination.   Sometimes I do SO GOOD and feel SO AWESOME about the nutritional/educational/spiritual nourishment my family gets.  This past two weeks Camper’s schedule is ALL over the place- and I’m not much help.  Last night when he said, “Mom, I really don’t feel like going to bed, can I stay up and watch Glee with you on the DVR?” I was all, “Eh, ok.”  Snacks are happening more often lately, less planned meals.  More nuggets.  I think the ONLY thing I’m consistently getting right is the whole cuddle-on-demand situation we have going on around here.  But our little family needs more.  I realize what schedules and meals are worth and need to put in the proper effort. Remember?

projects-003

Unfortunately, we fall behind.  And forget.  And YO I JUST CAN’T COOK THAT MUCH.

September 2009 095

(Just for the record, I didn’t write that.  But I echoed the sentiments precisely.)

But it’s time.  It’s time to get cooking again, start getting rid of unnecessary things and work on some good habits.  So yes.  This here blog, some good TV, my role as wife, mother and piano teacher.  Maybe some exercise if I can figure it out.  That’s my plan this winter.

Also, today I moved Camper’s room around…AGAIN.  Holy crap this time I used a SCREWDRIVER. (Hopefully better than the last time I got out some tools and ended up killing the phone line by wadding up the phone wire things and taping them together before getting them out of Camper’s reach.  Yeah.  I rock.)   I think I’ve FINALLY MANAGED to make it safe enough that if he were to…I don’t know…start to use a toddler bed type situation…I’d be confident in his safety.  I don’t know why I was so obsessed with that, but I was.  And now it’s done.  Well, it will be as soon as John can get around to making the closet door close.  Darn New England houses.

And if that’s not a disjointed entry for ya, I don’t know what is.

Food and Fixing Things

Friday, August 21st, 2009

John is home from work today.  Part of it was a trip to the doctor, part of it is the fact that he seriously has to get some stuff done for school.  We’re just going to have to take this crazy schedule of ours day by day, do what we can, not what we can’t…and try not to worry.  But oh please, let him get a new job soon.

After his appointment this morning he took time to fix Camper’s changing table cabinet again.  It’s from IKEA, and therefore a piece o junk.  It comes lose and falls apart, and in order to maybe fix it better he switched the two drawers for me, so I use the unhappy drawer less.

Bubbs helped.

11 Months 003

11 Months 005

It was made even cuter by the tool theme on his PJ’s.  He is so happy when his Daddy’s home.

This morning I made him some whole wheat banana pancakes (the only part that was “from scratch” were the bananas…added by moi) and he looked at me like I had just piled sewage on top of his tray.  I know.  But I’ll try try again.  You never know.

He also taken to crawling up the stairs, at least when we let him out of the living room.  We usually keep him corralled in there, which usually means I’m corralled in there, too.  This afternoon after lunch, however, we decided to go out to the little farm and see the animals.  Poppop went with us (he has every other Friday off of work) and bought some yummy sandwiches.  Camper touched the goats and the…well, other goat…and I think that’s it.  I won’t let him near the horse because there is a sign that says he bites.  And we KNOW Camper bites, so I don’t think it’d be a good combination.  Oh yeah, and there were some chickens that followed him around, and fresh melon samples in the little store.  Good times.

So yes.  Friday.  And I still haven’t gotten around to half the posts this week that I wanted to do, or the post about the changes in this here blog, or the post about how I’m not going to be posting as often anymore.  And I don’t think I’ll have time, because I have to teach piano in half an hour.  So that’s that.

Some Changes Round Here

Saturday, August 15th, 2009

Please be patient whilst I do some changing.  A new blogosophy.  As it were.

oh yeah. and the baby.

Wednesday, August 12th, 2009

August with Camper 077
I love that although I’m done with the GRE and don’t have to obsess over it everyday…I’ve been posting even less than usual. Seriously, though, I’m so glad to be done with trying to study during precious naptime, or stealing time between piano lessons to sit in a restaurant making the waitress mad because all I want is some Diet Coke and to memorize this list of words. I did well.  Well enough. I hope.

I’ve moved forward with the application process, although the job John has heard about this week isn’t near the college I want to go to…and we just keep moving. Not forward, not backward, just kind of…treading water. Waiting. Strengthening our muscles so that when the time comes we will be able to do what we need to do. Enjoying the calm waters and the security of home while we are still here.

And now John wants to get Camper a pet. To teach him responsibility. Any ideas?

I’m mulling over a post of things that you can do to feel rich when you are actually poor. So far the list contains, “Get your jewelry cleaned,” “pluck your eyebrows,” and “spritz yourself with yummy perfume samples.” I’d take suggestions for that one, too. Gonna be a good post that one is. Except I just told you the whole list and now I have to think up some other good stuff.

Goodnight internet.  Got to go to bed so I can wake to my morning bedhead.

August with Camper 055

oh yeah.  And the baby.

August with Camper 071

Now I Know Why You Don’t Review Crap.

Monday, August 3rd, 2009

So, up until now the reviews I’ve been asked to do have been something I’ve enjoyed.  A company contacts me, I receive something to review and give away.  That’s all.  Up until now.  I got an email from ebeanstalk asking for volunteers to review toys.  I thought, “Hey, why not?”  They weren’t offering a giveaway, but I thought’d I do something without the giveaway for once, and if I really loved it, maybe I’d self sponsor one.

Mistake.  First of all, they sent me the toy to try, and THEN I got an email telling me HOW to review the toy.  Um…I’m pretty sure that if you want me to agree to some special stipulations, you better tell me BEFORE the toy gets here.  They even had an “example” paragraph of what to write, included here for your benefit:

Picking toys is not easy and there is a toy website called ebeanstalk, dedicated to selecting good, safe learning toys and baby gifts. BUT they need help from moms like me to help pick the toys. The toy they sent is called ______ from International Playthings, who makes great baby toys Here is the deal on this toy…

I KNOW it was meant to be an “example” and that I was supposed to “customize it,” but that is NOT a review.  They were asking me for a PLUG.  That’s it.  I can change all the words around I want, so long as I give them their links.  I had such issues with this little paragraph here.  So many, in fact, that I’m officially going to send the stupid toy back to them.  Camper didn’t like it that much anyway.

But it didn’t end there.  I wrote to them and expressed my lack of enthusiasm at the way they wrote a letter with this sentence in it:

Please save this email.  Here are the guidelines for reviewing your toy when it arrives …they are simple, but must be followed.

and also this sentence:

REMEMBER TO PLEASE CUSTOMIZE THE LANGUAGE AND MAKE IT YOUR OWN. THE ONLY THING WE REQUEST IS THAT FOR THE INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH, THAT YOU PLEASE LEAVE THE 3 LINKS IN.

The email also included directions for shutting down my computer and microwaving popcorn.  (Just kidding.)

I received an answer saying that I was meant to customize the paragraph (not my point) (and thanks, I read that the first time) and to please link to my review.  Um, well, I’m not writing it now.  I’m sending the toy back, because to tell you the truth, Camper isn’t going to miss it at all.  It wasn’t that fabulous.

The thing that REALLY killed me was that the email said, “we only want the best.”  If you want the best reviewers out there, you wouldn’t be asking for volunteers, you wouldn’t be sending out an “example” review that sounds like it was written by a disinterested 8th grader, and you would actually read my email and respond the the actual problem.  The actual problem being: it is insulting to be told what to write on my own stupid blog.

So there ya go, ebeanstalk, you got your link.