Little Kite Girl

There is a song we sing in our church which contains the lyrics:

“Come little child and together we’ll learn of his commandments that we may return home to his presence to live in his sight, always, always to walk in the light.”

Now, aside from the random Hocus Pocus feelings googling those lyrics brought up for me (I remember them when singing them, but not when I go to blog) I also conjure up a very real moment from my childhood when I sat, hyped up on sugar from candies surely containing Yellow 5 (super Yum) singing about how we wanted to return to God.  Because God had presents, yo.

No wonder I’m so messed up. (Due to the the willful and selfish misunderstanding of doctrine, not the Yellow 5.  I’m sure that did little more than make me happy at the time.)

I had written an entire post about my findings from a book I just read, The Unhealthy Truth by Robyn O’Brien.  It was long and full of vindication for my personal mistrust of soy products and a new longing to purify our food supply. I also included the things we’ve also done well foodwise so far, since Camper has been born, and a bit of wonderment about how I can care so much about his health and well-being while not thinking twice to down a Diet Coke, myself.  But then I erased it.  Because if you want to you can read it yourself and figure things out on your own.

But there is one thing I wanted to talk about.

In her book she said “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.”

I had to think about that for a minute.  And then I realized that it was profound and relevant to MY ENTIRE LIFE.  I so badly want to be perfect.  Perfect Erin, perfect family, perfect house, perfect health and perfect situation.  And every day I fail.  Big surprise, right?  But in letting that ideal get me down when I am unable to achieve it, I sometimes also just fail to do any GOOD.  But the last few days I’ve worried less about the perfect and enjoyed the good.  And sometimes I even fail at that.  But I think it helps.  I think it will help.  I can’t give up on things I think are important just because I can’t do it perfectly.  I can do it well enough and just move on.

Or, as I like to say to myself lately, “Do what you can and call it good.”

Today was a wet and snowy day. Yuck. Camper watched poppop plow the driveway, I drove through the slush to teach piano. Didn’t get enough done. What’s new? Maybe Spring will come soon.

My baby smells like peanut butter.  This is pretty new around here, as I just started giving it to him about a month ago.  He is toddling around the living room playing with toys that I haven’t bothered to put away in a couple days, watching me drink Diet Dr. Pepper and wondering what’s next.  This morning I’m mostly cleaning Camper’s room, my room, and if I’m REALLY inspired…getting out a sudsy bucket and washing the walls in Camper’s room (the humidifier leaves a weird residue) and in the bathroom.  And then laundry.  Of course laundry. Always neverending Zues-forsaken mother-cursed laundry.  Part of me is tempted to take it all to a laundry-mat.  Isn’t that insane?  A washer and dryer in the basement, and I’m thinking about loading up a car that’s not available at the mo, taking myself down to a laundry-mat and paying however much it costs to do…let’s see…7? loads of laundry?  I KNOW.  But you know what I would do?  I would sit there and read while it all did it’s thing.  And maybe Camper would have fun, running around.  (Ok, in reality I know that what would REALLY happen is that I would chase him around for 2 hours while it all washed, trying to keep him away from mysterious puddles and other people’s dirty underwear.)  But IT WOULD BE DONE.

I also really need to get through some classwork.  Today I will make a schedule for how I’m going to accomplish what is seeming more and more like a crazy feat.

I’m also awaiting a couple new arrivals this afternoon.  Mainly, I finally got an iphone.

I know.

But just LISTEN, ok?  So…for so long I’ve wanted (not needed) a point and shoot camera to accompany my BIG camera, a flip video recorder and an ipod to call my own (mine died and Camper uses the little green one given to me by employers who gave me an ipod one day and didn’t want me working there the next. Does that make sense to you?).  Also, I’ve taken to stealing John’s iphone so that I can track my WW points while I’m out and about.  AND when I hit my goal weight WW will be FREE.  And I plan to get their by April.  And with a little bit of tax return money, it seems like I can have a version of all the things I want PLUS play LESS each month for it than for WW, AND be able to pay for 6 months of the service in advance because Uncle Sam knows how poor we are.  And just gave us back the tax money we pay.

That enough justification for ya? If not, here, look.

MY KID IS CUTE.  (Distraction.  That’s all.)

Also, I’d just like to say…lately I’ve been a bit of a gym floozy.  Which means I’ve gotten myself into a weird situation in which people keep saying, “Hey! Want to come to the gym with me?  I have a guest pass for you.”  And I’m all “Yeah!”  And it’s pretty awesome.  I have one friend that I swim with, another that I tried to go to a class with (our kids didn’t make it through the whole gym day-care thing, they pretty much screamed for the whole time we were in the class. It was so bad that the next day I actually found 3/4 of a blackened banana all wound up in my bathing suit.  In my desperation I must have thought bananas + swimming would calm him down, and then when we left it all got thrown in the bag together.  Gross.) and then just last night ANOTHER FRIEND said, “We should do something together, by the way…I have a guest pass on my gym membership.”  I yes, I totally plan on taking you up on that.  Because who knew that guest passes were so fun?  Or so plentiful?

And my kid just rolled on his ball (on his stomach-style…) and rolled forward onto his forehead.  And cried.  So I should probably go referee his impromptu gymnastics.  And you know, get on with the laundry.

SO yeah.  After a rocky afternoon I went out with some friends to the movies while my parents watched Camper and his friend, Boo ;) They are really, very cute together and part of me wanted to stay home and watch them play, but it was nice to go out with a group of girls for a change.  John was planning on taking a half day, but unexpectedly had to stay at work late (and then felt very sick on the way home) so he’s now going out to get us some dinner (addendum: when he got home he had dinner AND ice cream cake.  I was too cold to eat it tonight and everyone had gone to sleep…but I suspect I’ll be just fine tomorrow:)).  I intend to put on my PJ’s, watch Chuck, and try to forget the less than pleasant aspects of today.

My parents gave me a wonderful present, as well.  Three pairs of wool socks.  Smartwool, which I love and er…actually can’t really afford.  I have one pair that is currently one sock…owing to the fact that my kid likes to take sock out of my drawer and stick them into his trucks and into the laundry basket.  So now I have four.  And my feet will be all the happier for it.  I never knew that posh socks could make you happier.  Now I know.  So parents, my feet and I thank you.

And thanks for braving the February night for ice cream cake, John.  A birthday just isn’t a birthday without one.

And now I will go to sleep.

Today is my birthday.  Le big 27.  I stayed up late last night talking with a friend and then editing some of John’s writing, so I woke up pretty groggily and tried to convince Camper to snuggle in bed with me.  He did not want to.  And now he says, “No.”  So, I mean…considering all means of communication open to him, that was pretty clear.  John gave me my presents :)  He bought me Goodnight Nobody by Jennifer Weiner, Remember Me? by Sophie Kinsella, Anybody Out There by Marian Keyes, and The Shiksa Syndrome by Laurie Graff.  After much deliberation about the nature of my presents… he decided books were the way to go. Good choice, John.  After finishing my BA I decided to go on quest to find out what kind of books I really LIKE to read.  And it turns out…pretty much  magazines or blogs that LOOK like books are my favorite.  Chick lit.  A real time-waster, but oh so relaxing and mind-freeing.  Because when I read 1000 Splendid Suns I had a small breakdown.  It was very good, but also very sad.  My real life causes me enough real drama already.  I don’t need literature to add to my angst.

I’m also reading The Count of Monte Cristo right now.  Just so you don’t think I’ve abandoned ALL REAL LITERATURE.  But yo, it’s long.  So we’ll see how it goes.

As for how today has gone after all of that, well.  Eh.  Hopefully tomorrow the sun will rise again and we’ll have know what the crap to do with our lives.  Until then, at least I made it another year.

SOOOOOOOOO…..now that we are in the THICK of winter, and owing to my usually car-less state…Camper and I have been watching more TV than we should lately.  We get up in the morning and after breakfast he says, “Booo! Coooo!” which just happens to be around 7am when two episodes of Blue’s Clues starts.  The Nick Jr. morning lineup actually isn’t that bad.  Especially when my eyes are closed.  Granted, he does run around and play while watching, but it’s on.  And he watches it.  Then naptime, then back to the living room after lunch at 1 for some more stuff on the DVR while I try to vacuum, do laundry, read, etc.  That lasts at least another hour or until whenever PopPop gets home, then La La, then Daddy and we have some actual PEOPLE to concentrate on.  But the TV is usually on.

Noticing the way the TV has encroached on our lives lately, today I took drastic measures.  I kept it off.  This morning after breakfast the child and I went upstairs.  We folded laundry.  I let Camper run around in just his cloth diaper with no cover (we’re learning “wet” and “dry”) and then we went through ALL HIS STUFFED ANIMALS saying their names and making their noises.  Then he went in his room for about 20 minutes and clunked around while I checked email, etc.  And then it was 8am.  Sigh.  So we played with the soccer ball, he took a BAP and then got half an episode of Booo! Coooo! while I took a shower.  It’s kind of nice to be able to shower with him up and running around these days, even if right before I got in he did run into the bathroom and fell forehead first into the toilet.

Ouch.

He took a nap and then we played with La La, went grocery shopping, and then got home for dinner and FINALLY some brain-less time with the TV on.

So yeah.  I need some more fun activities to do with my kiddo.  I looked some things up, so we’ll see how it goes.  I just haven’t been that motivated to turn the TV off and figure out games to play lately.  I think it’s the winter doldrums.  So we’re turning the the stereo more, playing with specific toys, reading MORE books (is it even possible?) and I’m starting to think about things like shower crayons and…well…that’s about it.  It’s so hard when the temperature reads below the “safe” range for taking him outside for a bit.  Super sigh.

And some of you have started to write about Spring.  Not here.  Not til at least April.

If you have any 17 mo. old friendly activities in mind, do share!  I’d love to try something new.

we get a little cabin fever.