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Shred Shred Shreddiness, Shredtastity

Friday, December 4th, 2009

On the third day of the 30 Day Shred.  I can move my body again today.  The workout isn’t even that hard- kind of old school- actually.  But I have officially started the “I will not be the fattest bridesmaid” intensive workout program. (Emily’s getting married!)(!!!!)

My child is one year old.  I have no excuse to be carrying around (insert specific number that I will not tell you) extra lbs. with me.  The year I got pregnant I listed “be healthy” as one of my goals for the year.  And that was the year that I gained a million pounds (that’s a lot of pounds to gain for an 8 pound kid!) and found out that I have a chronic illness.  Well I am taking my body BACK now.  Not being able to control my illness makes me want to control the aspects of health that I CAN control.  Which is endurance, stamina, strength, etc.  So here goes it.  The DVD arrived and within the hour I was doing it.  I’m going to do it every day for 30 days.  No breaks.  The breaks are what kills me.  I take a day off, and the next thing I know it’s been two months and I haven’t done a thing.

And in honor of my new workout plan- my loving father went to the store the other day and brought home Chocolate Silk Pie and a case of Doctor Pepper.  Sigh.  But EVEN WITH THAT I’ve still lost two pounds in two days- which means one thing.  This Shred thing is crazy, yo. I  mean, I couldn’t feel my right butt cheek for awhile there yesterday.  But don’t worry.  It’s back.

Speaking of my Dad…(that seems like a really weird thing to write about directly after a sentence about my butt cheek) I’ve actually been meaning to blog a bit about him.  I think out of everyone he probably gets the least play this here blog.  Here’s a list of reasons that he’s AWESOME:

1) He brings home silk pie, which even if I complain about it, it’s SO GOOD.

2) He spends a lot of time with Camper, and is easily Camper’s favorite friend.

3) When he gets home from work he takes Camper and watches Laurie Berkner music videos and sings to him.  And he knows ALL the words.

4) He rarely goes out without bringing Camper back a dinosaur or a toy fish or something awesome for him to play with.

5) He teaches Camper things like how to hit himself in the head with an empty paper towel roll.

6) He ALWAYS rinses his plate before putting in the dishwasher.  (Right, Dad? Hey, remember the time you put an entire dishwasher of dirty dishes away because you thought they were clean but they were just really well RINSED?”)

7)  He’d pretty much do anything for anyone.  Lawful things, of course.

8)  He can keep a secret for the sake of a joke like a CHAMP.  I did not inherit this trait.

9)  He’s got really attractive feet.  Mine are just like his.

10) He really, really likes his family being home.  It’s nice that he wants us around.  (Good thing we provided a Grandchild, no? ;) )

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Two Years Ago, Today

Monday, August 3rd, 2009

This morning we slept in until about 7 am, courtesy of the Camper, who finally got through the night with only one early morning feeding again.  Last night I was so “busy” trying to figure out how to troubleshoot his sleeping problems, I had no time to reflect on the night I spent in a beautiful B&B in Manti, Utah, waiting for morning- trying to kill my nerves by reading the new Harry Potter.  It didn’t work.  I woke up this morning, not running to grab him, crying, out of his crib.  I checked on him, he was sleeping peacefully.  I laid back in bed and listened to John getting ready in the bathroom, and I had a couple of moments to reflect and think, “Yes, although it’s not necessarily where we planned to be, (did we plan?), I’m proud of us right now.”  Two years later.

Wedding 264

Two years ago, today.

From this:

Wedding 174

to this:

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to, well.  I don’t really have an exciting picture of my midsection right now.  But you get the point.

Happy Anniversary John.  I’m still in love with our little family.  And this is our first anniversary I’m not pregnant.  Wo-hoo!

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Posted in Family, Holiday!, John | 1 Comment »

I Miss My Bro

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009

This is a picture I found while organizing my picture folder:

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This is from two years ago I think…not last Halloween but the one before it.  The glare off our super white faces and our glasses is horrible, but I remember trying to capture the fact that our hair was flipping out to the side in exactly the same way.  Here’s another one:

JonandErin

See?  He’s awesome.

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The Day I Took a Pregnancy Test at Big Y

Saturday, June 20th, 2009

So it’s no secret that John and I have a child. One son. I have a son. (I heart saying this, so sorry for the repetition.) I pretty much dig him, enough that I stay home and stare at him all day long. Ok, so maybe I play with him and read to him and watch Noggin with him and feed him and go on walks with him and change him and cuddle him and try to teach him to be a decent human being. Anyways…he is so amazing and time-consuming that I am currently postponing (not indefinitely) my masters degree and an amazing career to be his stay at home mom.  It’s a pretty good job.

Good enough that John and I recently started talking about when to have another baby.

When I got married I said, “We’ll wait a year to have a baby.”  We have now been married for almost two years (in September) and have a 9 month old baby.  For our little family, having a baby is a decision between the two of us and God.  We take that pretty seriously.  Although we went through all the practical considerations of  “Are we ready? Can we afford this?  Can we handle it?” none of that mattered, because we just felt deep down inside that pregnancy prevention was not for us.  So I was 8 months pregnant on our first anniversary.

Cut to now, when I once again start to wonder, “Is it time?”  We’re living with my Mom and Dad, doing the husband working/in grad school thing, not really all that established in any way shape or form.  If I had another baby, it could definitely delay the grad school thing for me even more, but at the same time I’d be DONE with babyness in a couple of years and not have to interrupt school again for quite some time…either until we decided that 2 was not enough or decided to adopt.

Then there is my health, still precarious.  I’m even experiencing a bit of a flair-up this week, almost as if my body is telling me, “Remember how sick pregnancy made you???”  And the fact that even on the best of days, my son tires me out completely.  Totally.

Then there is the dread.   The dread of no sleep at all, trying to decide between whose diaper need changed the worst, who needs to be held more when they’re both crying, who has to get up in the middle of the night to do whatever needs to be done for one and then the other.  It’s pretty overwhelming.  I’ve read a MILLION things these past few weeks about how to choose the space between siblings.  I’ve thought about the siblings I know and how they interact with each other, their parents, and the world.  Some say space is great, you have two babies that you get to cuddle and love.  Others say have them all in quick succession, if you can handle the “intensity” there’s a great payoff at the end.

I’ve obsessed, to say the least, over whether or not it’s time to have another baby.

And you know what?  Again, none of that matters.  The scholarly articles about the psychology of children in different age brackets or the puff piece in Parenting magazine explaining what it’s like to nurse while going to the bathroom AND saving your 2 year old from drowning in the bathtub…the scouring of blogs of Moms with kids 3 or more years apart wondering if they’ll be close friends or if my academic life would survive such a long stint in Mommy-hood.  Wondering if it’s best to have another baby now, with family so close by in case I’m sick again, or even well and just SO TIRED.  Because I love having my wonderful supportive parents nearby.  Because they are a good Lala and Poppop.

Even with all that said, we’ve made no decisions about anything.  I’m coming to realize that we’ll just know when it’s time.  Just like we knew with Camper.  When we found out we were pregnant (a surprise, that’s for sure) we knew that it was the right time for us, that everything would be just fine.  When we decided to stop birth control we didn’t know if I’d get pregnant the next day or the next year, if at all.  But we did, and it was PERFECT for our little family.

So I guess what I’m TRYING to say is that I just need to trust that God who let me know what to do before.  He’ll let me know again.  And until then, Mirena it is.

Oh, and I did take a pregnancy test in Big Y today.  We stopped in there to find my Gorton’s Fishermans and some chocolate chunks (why o why do we have to travel to find the foods that we love?) and I was SO NASEUS that I was going to drive us ALL crazy wondering until I just KNEW.  Mirena and all, we convince ourselves of crazy things sometimes.  I felt very Juno.  Except that I’m 26, and the only adoption that’ll go on in the future will hopefully add more children to our family, and my husband and baby were waiting outside the bathroom door.  And I’ve never met Jennifer Garner.  Anyway.  Good times.

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Posted in All About Baby, Day to day, Family, John, Rambles, Religious, Toooo tired to choose a category | No Comments »

I Heart Passing Out No Crying

Monday, May 11th, 2009

Yesterday was rough, but Camper is back to passing out with a little grin/minimal fussing.  I think that the trip messed him up a wee, but one day of toughing out a little more “cry it out” and he’s back to going to sleep well.  STAYING asleep, now that’s another story.  We’re back to sleepus interruptus, totally fun, and I think a product of not eating enough during the day.  I would give my left pinkie toe to the person who can get my son to eat a full bottle a few times a day, but alas.  We’re just going with the flow.  He LOVES solid food- so much so that I’ve added proteins- starting with pureed chicken.  It takes like poultry paste, but he went ga ga over it, so I’m guessing it’s a good addition.  Other things we’ll work into his diet this month: yogurt, cottage cheese, cheese in general, hummus, beans, meats of all types, tofu (if I can figure that one out) and eventually (last because it’s a big allergy food) eggs…I still refuse to give him juice unless he’s not pooping.  It’s just not necessary, and with his tendency to not drink his formula, I don’t want to waste his fluid on sugar water.  I also put formula powder into his food all day long.  It’s in his oatmeal, in his rice cereal, in his sweet potatoes…I have to get it in while I can.

So I ask you, Moms, do your babies eat their recommended amount of formula each day?  If not, do you worry about it or just give them food like they’re begging for?  I know of at least one mommy blogger who talks about her baby kind of self-weaning, eventually preferring mostly solid food during the day.  I think we’re headed in that direction, Camper.

Today was spent doing laundry, doing pre-packing for baby’s first plane trip.  I’m seriously nervous about how he’ll be (i.e. SLEEP) on the plane.  The ONLY time my kid screams is when he’s overtired and can’t relax.  Airplane + tons of strangers + complete lack of crib might be very very bad for him.  It could be just fine.  Let’s hope for just fine.  In the meantime, I’m trying to “streamline” packing efforts, bringing the exact amount of everything I need, avoiding unessential items, and wondering how much I’ll need my computer while I’m gone.  Would you all miss me?  Would I have time for blogging anyway?  I know what I NEED to fix this problem, but not yet.  Not til our contract is up in September.  Oh yeah, and not until we pay off this trip to Utah that we can’t afford.

Yeah.

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Posted in Adventures, All About Baby, Blogging, Day to day, Family | 1 Comment »

Peace and Post Itchy

Sunday, May 3rd, 2009

This weekend was a peaceful one for me.  John and I finally got to go to the temple, which I haven’t done since before I was sick and pregnant.  For about a year now I haven’t been able to go anywhere with ease, especially places that required me to sit for long periods of time without easy access to a bathroom.  It might have even been almost a year for me since I went to the temple, the last time I wrote about it was last May.  That is crazy. For me, going to the temple is a very important part of faith- as I don’t always feel the peace I need to at our regular, local church meetings.  There is something in the busy, people-planned nature of our meeting each Sunday that makes it personal, personable, and too hectic to really feel peace at times.  But the temple is only peace.  I go there and leave everything else outside, and I feel like I really understand that I am a daughter of God.  It’s a good, centering experience.

That said, getting to the temple wasn’t a centering exprience.  We relied on Cynthia, who decided to take us into the very middle of Boston (as in, “Hello, Big Dig”(is that still going on?)) and all around East Jibippi before we finally realized that she needed more precise coordinates to find the Temple.  As we drove around neighborhoods and back streets, I really thought I was going to throw her out the window.  It was especially funny when she said, “Arriving at destination on right” as we pulled up to some boating store.  I was all, “Well, maybe it’s…no.  It’s not behind the boating store.” WRONG DESTINATION CYNTHIA.   Seriously, lots of Dunkin Donuts in Boston.  Lots of them.  When we got into a town where I know a blogger-friend lives, I thought about knocking on doors til I found her to 1) introduce myself and 2) see if she’d direct me to the temple.  And because it seemed to make about as much sense as listening to Cynthia.  In the end, the iPhone saved us.  And John gloated.

We also accidentally found and REI on our trip, which was AWESOME because we got a dividend (= free money) that we wanted to spend.  I ended up getting a new bag for our trip out west for practically nothing after the dividend and a membership discount- and although I feel like I’m always posting: hey look what I got! (Cause I am, and I should stop, but it’s COUPONS yo.  AND DISCOUNTS.  and SMART SHOPPING.  I know I need to stop) I am going to show you anyway.

bag

Yay!  I’m using it as a diaper bag right now, cause although I love the one my Mom bought me before Camper was born, it’s not the best airplane option.  So I think I’ll give this one a spin for awhile, and maybe getting around to washing my Birdie one, so that I take good care of it.

Yeah, I like figuring out ways to get free stuff.  It’s kind of fun.  I was telling John that the weeks I don’t have coupons or dividends or points on the credit card or credits anywhere to get good deals, I end up just going to Price Chopper and getting buy 1 get 2 free English Muffins.  Because it just feels thrifty.

But anyway, yes.  I feel better about life this weekend.  I feel like with added peace the temple brings, we can be more patient in the job search, still hoping to find something to get us through school that doesn’t require John to work nights, more patient in waiting to figure out where I’ll go to school, more patient all around.  Other situations were resolved, as well, and now that I feel free of the pressure to be friends with someone when I just can’t, I feel free to be friend-LY.  I feel relief because I now know that someone won’t require of me more than I can give.

It’s funny, I didn’t update yesterday and ever since I got home last night I’ve felt all post-itchy.  Gotta post.  Gotta post.  Gotta post.  I think I may rely on you too much, internet.

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Posted in All About Baby, Blogging, Day to day, Family, Religious | 2 Comments »

Soaked Some Sun

Thursday, April 30th, 2009

Yesterday I loaded Camper into the car at about 7:30am and drove down to the beach in CT to visit my Auntie.  I was a little worried about driving alone with the Bubbs for so long, but he did great.  I’ve been meaning to get down to CT for a couple of weeks now, and just had to go before the PA and UT trips coming up later this month.  The drive was good, a couple fussy patches, but all in all, Bubbs was very patient.  I got to listen to conference talks along the way, visited with my new friend Cynthia (also known as Garmin nuvi 200) and enjoyed the sunshine.

My visit with my Auntie was great.  We timed it perfectly, I arrived just in time for Bubbs to play and be awake (for the most part) we had lunch and talked, and then around 3pm I loaded him back into the car and he slept 2/3 of the way home.  He must have been exhausted from a long day of firsts with Mom and Auntie.  Among the new things Camper tried/did were: seeing the ocean and seagulls, biting a grinder (oh how I love a good regular grinder), swinging, playing in the sand, and playing with a dog. He’s seen dogs before (we actually brought him to a pet store once…to no avail) but this was his first time really interacting with one.

The swing was hysterical.  When I first set him into it Auntie said, “Hold on tight, Little Man,” and he took her pretty seriously,white-knuckled holding onto the chains.  (He takes after his mommy, who, when Auntie said, “Bring some sweatshirts” assuming it’d be a chilly day, brought 5…) We swung him gently, getting no reaction, until I thought he didn’t like it and stopped.  He didn’t move his hands or change the look on his face (fierce concentration) but he kind of wiggled his butt a little as if to say, “Why did you stop?  I’m just getting used to this!”  Eventually he moved forward in the seat and let himself dangle a little.  Then we got some smiles.

beach-day-055

The sand was a big hit, as well.  It was a breezy day, but I took off his socks anyways to let him dig his feet in.  I half expected him to eat it, but he didn’t.   He did get a little fussy when I picked him up, though.  He wasn’t quite done yet I guess.

beach-day-127

Spending time with Auntie is good for my soul I think.  I’m pretty sure it’s good for my Camper, too.  It’s fun to see the Bubbs love on her, he even gave her kisses.  It’s fun for me to hear what she’s been up to, how the family is doing, and tell her my little dramas.  Combine that with a good sandwich and some time outside, and yesterday was one of those go to sleep smiling days.  I have lots of little snapshots in my mind from yesterday. Holding the Bubbs, asleep under a blanket while Auntie and I chatted looking out at the water, pulling Bubb’s socks off when we got back to the house and seeing the sand pour out, going to the bathroom and hearing Bubbs cracking up downstairs playing with Seppy (Auntie/Sara’s dog…I’m not really sure whose dog Seppy is, actually. Or how to spell Seppy.  I do recall that it’s short for Giseppi).  It was simply a good day.

The drive home was good, until Cynthia took me a way I wouldn’t normally go through a college town that added about 15 minutes to the trip.  15 minutes might not seem like a lot to you, but since that’s how long Bubbs screamed for before I pulled in the driveway, I could’ve done without it.  He fussed on and off the whole time he was awake (about 45 minutes) but it was that last 15 that got me.  I got into the house, tried to calm him down and get him fed (he NEVER likes to eat OR poop after a roadtrip), and had about 2 hours of running around trying to get stuff done and put him to bed that took away any remaining energy I had.  I popped some chicken nuggets into the oven for dinner and then just wilted.  John finally had to put Camper down for the night (he wouldn’t settle in til he had Daddy time), and then changed a monstrously poopy diaper before leaving for work.  Bubbs was completely asleep and I was just checking on him when I smelled it.  I didn’t know if I should wake him up or let him sleep, since he’s NEVER slept through a poop before, but John hauled him over to the changing table and took care of it.  It was really cute, because when Bubbs realized what was happening he halfway opened his eyes, smiled and said sleepily, “Da da da da.”  I love that kid.

Last minute I changed the sheets on my parent’s bed (just in case our friends who are moving today came to spend the night…their beds were packed) and then was asleep before John even left for work.  SUPER exhausted.  Bubb’s new eating at 9:30/10pm, then not again til morning thing is GREAT.  He still wakes up, but I just give him his paci or wait for him to settle back in on his own, and all this means MORE SLEEP FOR MOMMA.  I was still tired this morning, but spending time with John won out over sleeping more (I couldn’t get back to sleep for anything, although I probably could now…) so we just chatted and played with our baby and watched some TV together. Now he’s sleeping, and I’m just waiting for the Bubbs to wake up so we can figure out what to do with ourselves.

Oh, and by the way, the flowers are in bloom in CT.  Just thought you should know.

beach-day-162

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Posted in Adventures, All About Baby, Family | 2 Comments »

Rainy Day

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

So the brother is headed west.  It makes me sad and happy.  I’m happy that he’s found a place he wants to be, somewhere where he has a job he likes and people he likes to be around.  Sad because I just like having him around.  He’s lived down the street (to some degree) for a while now, and even though he gives me headaches and causes me to worry…he is a good brother.  He has ALWAYS treated me well.  He is always there to step in and help when I need it, and fits in well with my little family.  And even though he and John like to make fun of each other, I think they like each other more than they let on.  And we know the Bubbs loves him.  Maybe that’s what makes me the saddest, I won’t get to see Bubb’s Uncle Jonathan smile for a little while.  At least I’ll be able to see him again in a few weeks.

Today I went to my WW meeting (-2 this week, yay!) and then came home and said goodbye to Jonathan, goodnight to John, and then Bubbs and I played on the floor for a bit.  I think today are just going to hang around the house.  It seems like I’ve been running around for days on end now, and if I don’t make the conscious choice to just CHILL, I won’t ever do it.  I also think my baby is exhausted, as evidenced by him falling asleep last night around 5:30pm, and not stirring until I woke him at 1am.  I’m neurotic.  If he’s not sleeping I’m all, “Oh no!  Woe is me!  No sleep!” and then he finally sleeps soundly for hours on end and I keep checking him, as if something’s wrong.  I managed to hold off til 1am, when I just HAD to make sure he didn’t have a stroke in his sleep that was keeping him from being able to wake up/cry on his own.  I changed his diaper, fed him a bottle (he barely opened his eyes) and laid him back down.  He stretched and looked at me with wide eyes, then rolled over and went back to sleep.  He was so “whatever” about the whole thing…I actually tried to tickle him to see if he would laugh.  In my sick mind, if he laughed once I’d know he didn’t have a baby stroke that was causing him to sleep through the night.  He went back to sleep, then woke up again at 5:15ish, ate, and then sleep for another hour or so.  Seriously.  Lots of sleep.  For him.  And not for me, because I’m crazy.

He wasn’t a big eater yesterday, but at least he’s picked up today.  5 oz. every time, plus all his normal food in between.  Maybe I’ve been wearing him out, maybe he’s growing, I don’t know…but I’m going to make every effort to stick around the house today, cater to his napping needs, and just CHILL.

In other news…Bubbs has entered the dangerous to self phase.  It seems like every time I turn around, he’s scratching himself, bonking himself on the head with a toy, falling on his head (from a sitting position), and his latest: nosedive on the changing table.  He didn’t fall OFF, just bumped his mouth on the side.  But it’s driving me crazy.  He hasn’t done anything too serious, and I’m resisting the temptation to bumper pad everything.  I know that he needs to learn how not to hurt himself, and that the best way is to let him figure out that throwing himself over backwards hurts.  So I’m just trying to not freak about it.  Right?  Yeah.  That’s all I can do.

Back to chillin’ folks.

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Posted in All About Baby, Family | 1 Comment »