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Happy, Almost. Ok, not quite yet but working on it.

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009

Ok people. I’ve spent today doing things ON PURPOSE. Even after a night of not sleeping, I got myself up (took a nap later courtesy of my father watching my son for a bit), cleaned up my room, stripped the diapers, scrubbed the bathroom, and played with my son. I also cuddled someone else’s dog for awhile- which was kind of nice. (They were gone all day and their dog needed some attention. I wish I had room in my life for a dog of my own right now.)

But the POINT of all of this is: I’m still a little surly. (See image below.)

Christmas 062 (And yes, that’s my current waistline.)

I’m even, I daresay, feeling a little hopeless, wondering how long my family will struggle through with these specific hardships. (I say specific, because I’ve come to the realization that we will ALWAYS have hardships…but I’m tiring of these ones. Did I even dare say that?) But I’ve decided to just get through it.

Things I’m focusing on this week:

-Everyone out there who is saying to themselves:”What does she have to whine about? The people she loves most are pretty happy, healthy, and mostly right around her. She has such a cute kid, even though I’ve never seen his face. She’s got to get it TOGETHER!” I agree with you. Top of my to-do list.

-Last night I had a piano recital, hosted at one of my student’s houses, for all of my “under 18″ set. It was great, and I felt so proud of them. Moreover, I realized that I’m doing something kind of cool with these kids. It’s a good thing.

-I miss my husband so much, which means I love him, but I’m also still functioning while he’s gone at his 10 day residency. Which means three things. a) I’m more capable than last time around b) I have amazing family to help me and c) my kid is older.

-Christmas will come again next year, so I’ll have another chance at Merriness. Without the bitterness. Even though there was at least ONE thing I didn’t feel bitter about this year. Check out his super cuteness.

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-No one likes a grouch. Or a pessimist. But TECHNICALLY, I think pessimism usually focuses on what you think about the future. So the fact that I think that 2009 was a crapshoot (or would that be, crapchute, crapshoute? what the crap? How do you spell chute? Chutes and Ladders…Ack. Whatever.) isn’t pessimism. Just an assessment, really. I can still have optimism about 2010. (When I wrote that, I accidentally wrote 2019. Please don’t let good things (aka financial security) take that long.)

-Even if there are some people who are all, “I don’t want to read about your problems, if you write a day to day rundown of your life I’m bored! Don’t people know how to get over crap? You think about stuff too much.” Others are more, “I want to hear what’s going on with you!” And those first people don’t have to read this. And to those second people, thank you. Thank you very much.

-I’m not one of those people who does things unapologeticically. I thought I wanted to be one. You know, I do whatever I want and say DEAL WITH IT, EVERYONE ELSE! But that’s not me. I think about people, I want to make people happy. Even people that…errr…aren’t that important to me. But you know what? That’s cool. I’ve decided that that quality can stay. But I also want to combine what I can “thoughtfulness” with a new kind of boldness. I want to be able to say…to the kid who tackled MY KID (or at least his mother) “Say you’re sorry. Right now.” I want to still consider the people around me, but also just make the decisions that are best for me and my family without caring what judgment ensues.

So there ya are. Some things that have been crossing my mind that are making me feel all firey and like I’m actually going to do something. Or have something to say this evening.

And here, by the way, is my favorite Christmas card this year. When I got it I thought to myself, “Now here’s a card just for me.” And it lifted my spirits. (That’s her husband’s ear in the picture, by the way. She’s in it as well, you just can’t see her.) The funny thing? I met her through this blog! Or I found hers through someone else’s…or something. How did we meet, anyway? But the point is, we’ve NEVER MET IN PERSON. Blogging is a waste of my time? I think NOT. I have quite a lot of people that I’ve gathered strength from, in blog format. So keep going ladies. I read you.

Anyway, the card:

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HAPPY 2010, people. Happy.

Posted in Friends, Holiday!, Mommy Upkeep | 2 Comments »

Christmas Babyproofed Un-Crafty Wonderfulness!

Tuesday, December 1st, 2009

So I’ve had a few projects this Christmastime. Let me just say, I’m not really all that crafty- at all. I have an entire bookmark on my Firefox toolbar dedicated to craftiness. And it always goes the same way. I bookmark it. I really want to do it. If I can trick my mother into doing it, it gets done. If not, it sits there til I erase it.

This is further evidenced by the one crafty present we made Camper this year, his alphabet bean bags. Which turned out really cool. And I DID do some of the actual crafting myself. My Mom just did the rest of it so it would be finished this year.

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Another little something that I REALLY wanted to make this year was an Advent Calendar. Interestingly enough, I don’t really hear about “Advent” a lot in the church I attend. We do talk about Christmas and Christ and the coming of Christ and the anticipation the season brings…but not with using that word…so much. Must be another one of those Catholic things that has become a part of my life without me being Catholic. (As well as me considering going to Midnight Mass this year, just because I want to show John. And because I really enjoy it.) I was going to make an Advent Calendar on my own- but then I just kind of…bought one. From The Christmas Tree Shop. Totally un-crafty.

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And it doesn’t look anything like what I wanted to make- but it got the job done and allowed me to get on with the REAL project involved with the Advent Calendar.

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I filled each of the pockets with a wooden token, and written on each one (some stars, some plain circles) is a scripture reference…written on very un-fancily with a fine tip Sharpie. I spent most of my “crafty” energy looking for scriptures in the Bible and the Book of Mormon and other books that told the story of years and years and years of people waiting for Christ. Something to make us think about living in a world where we depended on the promise that He would come and Atone for us, as opposed to the promise that he already did. A world where the man “Jesus” had not yet existed. A world where he was born a baby, just like the rest of us. And I think I found them. If you are interested in the list, let me know. I’ll probably edit it as years go by, but I think I found a good assortment ending, of course, with the Christmas story in Luke. Good stuff, and I’m hoping a tradition that will stick.

We also put up our Christmas tree, and then another one…properly guarded of course.

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It came with lights already on it. And we haven’t bothered to put ornaments on it yet. Mostly because we are scared Camper will try to eat them. Even with the cage…he can still reach it. The tree topper is one we had when I was really little and is very sentimental to me. We had nightlights that matched. I still have one of them somewhere…

Tree number two is less reachable as it sits behind a chair, and will remain unreachable as long as he doesn’t figure out how to climb onto the furniture overnight. Which is totally possible.

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We’ll see how safe it stays.

And finally, I really, really, really really really really wanted a Nativity scene for Camper this year. I was going to buy a million different ones for a million different dollar amounts. I finally settled on a plastic one that ok-ish reviews- and except for the exceptionally swallow-able Jesus that had to be affixed to his manger, it’s working out well for us. It’s getting gnawed on and loved on and mistreated in a way that I hope helps our Camper learn about the stories behind Christmas. Why we care so much, why we celebrate.

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This is Camper’s Christmas table, filled with annoying things that make too much noise. He totally rocks out to the singing penguins and the irritating squirrel. EATS IT UP. And he likes his manger scene, too.

Today I also finished: a project for my parents and parents in law (ok, it’s a Camper-centric calendar made on iphoto. I only dish because I’m pretty sure my parents know that I’m doing it for Christmas and I’m pretty sure my parents in law won’t read this on account of their dial up…and if you do…just forget you read this! I shouldn’t post anything about it since it’s pretty much the only presents we’re giving this year. Everyone else will have to make due with our love and affection) and my very first Christmas letter meant to be sent to the masses. Also using the Mac, this time using Pages and one of the many wonderful beautiful overused but free templates for the holiday season. And all that between Music Together this morning and teaching piano this evening!

The one final thing I’d like to work on (and who knows if I’ll get to it) is a soft book with the different symbols of Christmas and their meanings. For example, one soft crinkly baby page will have a simple tree outlined on it and the next page will have a short explanation of how the evergreen tree ties into the Christmas message. Part of me thinks I should do a softie book- another part thinks maybe I should just figure out how to do a book for older kids…and part of me thinks my Christmas un-crafty nature might win out and I won’t do anything at all. But we shall see.

Merry Christmas Prep, all.

Tags: crafty whoa, holiday stuff, uncrafty yeah
Posted in All About Baby, Day to day, Holiday! | 2 Comments »

Monday Morning and a Rainy Day

Monday, November 30th, 2009

While I LOVE spring rain, winter rain is sometimes depressing. I think because it’s so cold and dark- and you know there’s no chance of it clearing up and the sun coming out later in the day. The only real upside is that I was able to get a REAL nap while Camper napped- which after a few nights of me not sleeping (no real reason, just crazy brain) was very refreshing.

I used to feel guilty about napping during the day. Sometime after my baby started sleeping through the night (sporadically, at about 8 months? was it?) I thought I should be able just soldier through and not need to lay down when he did anymore. Most days that’s true. However, I’ve learned that if I’m tired I should just lay down for a bit. My job does not end at 5pm, and sometimes Camper is still up throughout the night. If I nap, I’m not as tired. If I’m not as tired, John doesn’t have to deal with the freaking out tired breakdowns. As often. So now I don’t feel guilty anymore. (Too much, anyway. I still wish John had naptime, too.) If I can actually fall asleep, I just feel relieved.

Today has been pretty slow. I have yet another mountain of laundry to fold and put away- so I think we’re headed upstairs to do that soon. I’m still trying to get a few Christmas-y things done. I did manage to do our Advent Calendar and help my mom put up some decorations this past weekend. I’ll have to post pictures of a babyproofed Christmastime. Very interesting indeed. I still have our Christmas letter to prepare- and one other project that I’m doing for my parents and parent’sinlaw. Besides MAYBE trying to get a picture of our family for the letter I’m going to send to everyone, I think that’s about as crazy as I’m getting this year. We don’t really have the $$$ to buy and send presents to everyone- and it’s helping me focus on actually getting in touch with people. Not just sending a gift, but an update and an invitation to be part of our lives. We’ll see if I get it done by Easter.

But yeah. This post is sorta lame. Here’s something kinda cute to tide you over til I get my funny back.

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Behold, the Baby Jesus that we had to superglue into his manger so as to not have him take a little pre-Christmas trip through my child’s digestive system.

Tags: holiday prep
Posted in Day to day, Holiday! | 1 Comment »

And Unto Us Is Born a Gas Baby

Thursday, November 26th, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

It’s been a Happy Thanksgiving out here. It’s been nice to be home, wear pajama pants all day, etc. At the same time, there’s something appealing about traveling and buying new “holiday” outfits and being around LOTS of family. It’s a toss up, and this year pajamas won. Budget restraints and all. And I thoroughly enjoyed the day.

We woke up to a Thanksgiving miracle, Camper slept until 8:30am! Whoa, wait…let me back up.

John and I had a DATE last night. (I KNOW! Two in one month! Crazy!) We went out to movie and brought some dinner home. My husband must love me, because he sat through New Moon without even groaning at ALL. (Even with all the girls screaming every time a shirtless male wolfager came onto the screen. Which was a lot.) I enjoyed the movie (I’m not even sure why I like these movies/books…I’m not going to defend it. Just going to enjoy) and SUPER enjoyed pawning off dinner/bedtime routine on PopPop and LaLa. I love putting Camper to bed, but sometimes it’s nice to have someone else to do the whole wrestle into diaper/PJ’s/brush teeth, gather the water, the blankie, the book routine. It makes it all that much better the next night. (Except I just realized that I forgot to brush his teeth tonight. Seriously, bad mommy.) We got back around 9pm, and then watched Kung Fu Panda (or part of it anyway) while enjoying a late night Chinese food dinner. And then the baby slept.

Til 8:30 in the morning.

So I got up and got some breakfast. Then we cuddled and watched the parade. La La actually got up and started all the food at 6am, which meant we ate around 12:30. Camper actually napped through the EATING EVENT and for some reason the rest of us all wore yellow shirts by accident. I ate way more than I should, even with John warning me how much I hate to be tooo fuulllll. But I ate that much anyway. And then we watched GLEE on the DVR (this week’s was eh.). And it was very, very relaxing. When Camper got up, I actually laid down for a nap myself. John slept in this morning but I was all full of energy and UP…until about 3 when I got SUPER tired. Full belly needed a nap. And so I slept. John hung out with the Bubbs until he was stolen by La La for some Thanksgiving visiting (he got to go play with another kiddo for awhile, one older than him but one he loves to play with) and then back home for some more chilling.

We ended the day with some walking practice (Camper working off his dinner walking between all of us around the living room) and a teeny piece of pumpkin pie for the baby. A last minute BAP and bed. And now we’re just chilling. And I’m waiting 7 more minutes to eat some Doritos. A self-imposed food ban to allow myself to DIGEST before eating some more holiday favorites. I don’t what is SO DARN FESTIVE about Doritos- maybe it’s just that we only buy them on holidays. Yup. That would do it.

Tags: Thanksgiving
Posted in Holiday! | No Comments »

That’s right. We do stuff.

Wednesday, November 25th, 2009

So I told you about the holiday hat, right? Her it is! (WA LA!) I will most likely try to scan in a picture of me wearing it sometime soon. As a baby, I mean. But isn’t it cute? And Camper seems to like it.

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He’s very into loading things on to his little walker toy these days. A drink. A snack. A truck. (RUK!)(Grrrrrrrrrr)

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When it falls off he gets all disgruntled and says, “OELP.” Then I tell him, “You can handle it,” and he reloads and walks on. I would just like to mention that the only reason he has a butt in any picture is because of his cloth diapers. I had to put him in a disposable one day this week (GASP) and I was like, “Er, your butt’s gone. People are going to think I’m starving you.”

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This is very serious business, this truck hauling.

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When not hauling stuff around on his walker, he likes to put things in my shoes and drive them around. (Ca! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.) And yes, I let him run around all unsnapped when I’m waiting for him to poop before bath time. Or if I just don’t feel like snapping him up.

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At the museum. We’ve been to this one (free, library pass) about a hundred times, and I refused to pay extra for the Christmas tree exhibit. ($12!) So we just saw the fish, like usual. John had a day off and came with us. Hence, his butt.

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I really like this one.

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“OHMYGOSH IT’S A STOOL! A FOOT STOOL! LOOK MAMAMAMAMAMAMA I can climb!” And here is the reason we did not pay the $$$ for the extra exhibit. The next day we took a stroll around Target and saw some Christmas trees there. Same difference.

And here’s a random memory for you:

When we were living in South Carolina I had a wiggly tooth at school. I was eating lunch and realized that it was going to fall out- so I went to the nurse. I asked her to pull it, which she couldn’t. Some nonsense about not being a dentist. I had NEVER pulled a tooth on my own before. Usually my Dad did it, and it involved me voluntarily being held down, but not until AFTER I got some Ambesol. I made them call my Mom and she said to pull it myself. At which point I remember almost blacking out in fear. I HATE teeth. My Mom and Dad used to make me sit and wiggle them while watching TV because I would literally let them ROT IN MY HEAD. And I would watch TV and wiggle my gums instead, because I was a coward. So back to this particular day and this particular tooth. I got that grand idea to just EAT MY LUNCH. Tuna Squish Sandwich. And it fell out in the sandwich and I didn’t have to grab and yank and the crisis was averted. Phew.

And now that memory can get out of my head. Thankyouverymuch.

Tags: random crap
Posted in All About Baby, Day to day, Holiday! | No Comments »

Rainy Halloween

Saturday, October 31st, 2009

Camper’s SECOND Halloween. Yes, last year he was an owl and this year he got to be TWO things. First a dragon at the church party last night, and tonight a monkey at his Halloween playdate with his little red-headed friendwho’sagirl. (Two redheads together is very, very cute. I think I should ban myself from saying very, very cute again in this post but I know I won’t be able to stop.) I was crazy running around all day. First I had a piano lesson to teach in the morning (we played a LOT of duets, which is the MOST fun) and then I had a class at church that I really wanted to go to. My mother volunteered to stay home with Camper as he napped so that I could go and enjoy some adult interaction…and I really really did. After I got home I got to help a friend with some computer needs, which was actually a fulfilling experience. No one has asked for my help in that capacity for a long time, and it was really refreshing to realize that I might not be working outside the home right now, but I still have some skills. And I learned some new things, too. Just a few resources available online that I had NO IDEA about and how to download them in different ways.

After all THAT Camper and I headed off to our Trick or Treating playdate. I met our friends through a play group at the lcoal hospital and I was EXCITED when they invited us over for Halloween. I LOVE making holidays special, and since I kind of failed at having Camper-aged children at his birthday party, I thought it’d be fun to see him go Trick or Treating with someone his own age. And yes, they were adorable. It was raining, so we mostly just answered the door, talked and ate good, good food (very delicious) but we did hit a couple of houses to get the full experience.

What? You say you need evidence of their cuteness?

Ok.

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And here’s some of their cuteness from the pumpkin patch last week.

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And no, it wasn’t a baby date. We had another little boy there with us as well, but all my pics with all three of them show their faces. But aren’t baby friends adorable?

Ok. I’ll stop using that word and go to bed now.

PS I ate too much today.

Tags: Camper's friends, Halloween, Holiday!
Posted in All About Baby, Holiday! | No Comments »

The Big Day

Saturday, September 19th, 2009

Happy birthday, my one year old boy.

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It was a good birthday. When I brought Camper downstairs this morning he pointed at everything and said, “Peh..” Which is the noise he makes when he seems to want to say (really quietly) “Holy crap look at all the cool new stuff. What IS THAT?” (And I swear I’m not reading too much into that.) He pointed at every single streamer we hung, at the big pile ‘o gifts, at his cake and the tablecloth and then had a good breakfast. We sang and danced and got ready and enjoyed a small party of mostly adults who watched him play with his gifts. *Thanks everyone!* We had a first year slideshow and a game designed to determine his future career. We surrounded him with symbolic objects- and from among them he chose a scale meant to signify a future in law. But really…since all I could find was a food scale… it also might mean “chef” or “overweight.” Huh.

Anyway. He had a blast, made it til naptime, and then rode off into the sunset. Forward facing.

Good times had by all.

And now I’m going to go veg out.

More complete pictures found on his website.

Tags: 1 year old, birthday, Camper
Posted in All About Baby, Holiday! | 2 Comments »

Barnyard Par-Tay Prep Day

Friday, September 18th, 2009

The great party prep day. Holy freakin’ shiz I never knew how much work this all was. Baking cakes and cupcakes and cookies and making thank you bags, putting together the baby book and the slideshow and the one game I wanted to play. Oh yeah, two. There will be two games. More on that later. But the streamers and the cleaning and the laundry so that I don’t have to do laundry tomorrow. I wanted it all to be done today so that tomorrow I can actually wake up and just enjoy my little boy’s day. Play with him on his birthday instead of ignoring him to run around and get things done.

Lots of work. (Super thanks to John and La La who baked and decorated and worked the media angle of the day, and Poppop who helped put Camper to bed and wrapped the presents.)

I think it’ll be fun. I don’t know how many people will come, but we’ll par-tay hard with whoever shows up. You know. Til naptime.

Tonight as I spend half an hour putting my baby to bed (to be followed by half an hour of Daddy and then half an hour of Poppop cuddling and then ten more minutes of me) I looked at him and was BLOWN AWAY. One entire year. I remember thinking that this day would be so far away, some sort of paradox…like Zenos (philosopher, not prophet) working on time in my own little life. As his paradox of motion goes: Surely we’d have to make it to 6 months before a year. 3 months before 6. And as it is bisected again and again we never get anywhere. We’d stay right where we started, all together and new and fresh.

This is so much better.

One year old. Definitely my favorite so far.

Wish us luck tomorrow, and lots of fun. I’ll post pictures of our preparation shenanagins when I get around to it.

(Tip: If you need a specific color M&M, do not buy Fun Packs. All I have to say.)

Tags: Camper, party, tired yo
Posted in Adventures, All About Baby, Holiday! | No Comments »

Two Years Ago, Today

Monday, August 3rd, 2009

This morning we slept in until about 7 am, courtesy of the Camper, who finally got through the night with only one early morning feeding again. Last night I was so “busy” trying to figure out how to troubleshoot his sleeping problems, I had no time to reflect on the night I spent in a beautiful B&B in Manti, Utah, waiting for morning- trying to kill my nerves by reading the new Harry Potter. It didn’t work. I woke up this morning, not running to grab him, crying, out of his crib. I checked on him, he was sleeping peacefully. I laid back in bed and listened to John getting ready in the bathroom, and I had a couple of moments to reflect and think, “Yes, although it’s not necessarily where we planned to be, (did we plan?), I’m proud of us right now.” Two years later.

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Two years ago, today.

From this:

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to this:

to, well. I don’t really have an exciting picture of my midsection right now. But you get the point.

Happy Anniversary John. I’m still in love with our little family. And this is our first anniversary I’m not pregnant. Wo-hoo!

Tags: anniversary, changing, Family
Posted in Family, Holiday!, John | 2 Comments »

Fourth of July

Monday, July 6th, 2009

Fourth

Things around here were pretty quiet. We filled up Bubby’s pool outside, but it was too chilly and windy to go for a swim. We ate some good food, visited outside for a bit, and just relaxed. The day ended with a short walk down to a park around the corner where Bubbs went down a slide all on his own and fell in love with the merry-go-round (which apparently makes me dizzy now). We didn’t see any fireworks, which is the usual for us these days, and I had a hard time explaining to Bubbs why we were celebrating this day. I think I still know, but maybe patriotism suffers sometimes like spirituality does.

*Protect us by Thy Might, Great God our King.

Tags: Fourth of July
Posted in Holiday! | No Comments »

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