I couldn’t believe my eyes!  For shiz, that baby SAVED HIS OWN LIFE.  And all of a sudden my desire for Camper to swim went up like a million kajillion degrees.  Obviously, he’s only  months old, but it doesn’t hurt to try, right?

Cut to YMCA pool, day one.  I jumped into the pool and La La handed me my darling child, who commenced screaming.  It was as if I had just told him that we’ve gone broke and sold the bathtub, and this is where we are doing tubby time now.  Sigh.  I let him sit on the side with his La La for a bit while I tried to swim around and show him how fun it was.  We DID get him into the water, but it took 30 minutes and he was pretty clingy the entire time.

Cut to YMCA pool, day two.  As soon as I walked into the pool area, he started leaning and bouncing and effectively trying to fling himself into the pool.  He went underwater twice with no tears, kicked around and “swam” around with Pop pop and Mommy.  Good times.

So we’re working on basic skills, like blowing bubbles and kicking our feet.  It’s a good time, although a little tiring.  But really, if I can help my baby love the water and make sure he knows what he’s doing…however long it takes it’s worth it.

This is my philosophy: WEAR THEM OUT.

I think that there are definitely kids who need medication for different things, I’m not all Tom Cruise about mental health issues…but I think that as a society (and in the public school system) we tend to overstimulate a child’s brain while not teaching him how to use up all of his energy.   Then we get surprised that they can’t sit still during a lesson or a book.  Just like our food can be over-fortified (find me a food without extra vitamin C or DHA or SOMETHING in it, and I’ll be quite surprised) our activities can sometimes have too many agendas.  We want our kids to learn sign language, counting, reading, colors…WHATEVER…and in order to attain this goal we turn all of their games and toys into “learning opportunities.”  Sometimes a kid just has to play.

Here is an analogy that prove I do too much laundry.  Children are like little washing machines.  We make sure our kids get plenty of rest and eat good food and all of this equates to the machine filling with water and starting the agitation process.  However, if we miss that final spin cycle, the water will just sit and cause problems.  Making sure our kids exert themselves physically is like letting the water out, getting that last bit of energy out and making room for more, fresh energy later.

So yesterday I wore my kid out.  We went on a bike ride, we played in the backyard, then we went for a swim.  He still took his naps and ate his meals, but in between we got outside, got in the water, and stayed busy.  Not only did he nap like a champ yesterday, but he also slept from 7pm to 4am, ate and went back to sleep until 6:30am.  But here’s the problem.

I was SHATTERED by the end of the day.  I woke up today and couldn’t imagine doing any more of the same.  How am I supposed to keep this up?  I think as he gets more independent I’ll be able to sit in the backyard and enjoy a book while he runs around and plays in the sandbox.  (I’m planning on getting a sandbox as soon as he stops eating everything.) Maybe I can host a playgroup and let the other kids wear him out sometimes.  But all I know is that he seemed happier, slept better, and is crawling faster and faster.

He’s also enjoying the pool more, but I’ll post about THAT a little later.

I even noticed that when we sat down with a book after a lot of physical activity, he was more likely to sit quietly and look at the book with me.  It can’t be bad for me, either, right?  All I know is that with how much John and I enjoy TV, movies, and computer…I better make sure we get the kid outside.  He’s already in love with all things luminous or buttonous.

So here’s my plan.  Do everything that I can do.  If we are both tired at the end of the day, I did something right.  I’m going to help my son learn to play hard, not be afraid of getting dirty of getting his face wet, and make sure that we both get a little rest when we need it.  (Rainy days are good for that, no?)  I’m thinking of getting a kiddy pool so that he can splash around even on days that I don’t feel like getting in, and like I said, the sandbox will come as soon as he stops putting everything in his mouth.  I think it’ll be super fun when he starts to walk and I can bring him to the playground.

Just as a final aside, when we were in Albany a couple of weeks ago we entered and exited that mall through a sporting goods store.  At one point I looked down an aisle and saw a woman with two boys and her husband looking at equipment of some kind.   She was wearing comfortable clothes (watch out Stacey and Clinton!), didn’t wear a lot of makeup or do anything extraordinary with her hair, and looked rather unremarkable when it came to fashion or cuteness.   My first thought was, “I wonder if having all boys in the house means you can’t wear cute clothes anymore.” But then I saw her boys (husband included) looking at her and talking with her about some activity they were going to start doing.  The look in their eyes was unmistakable, they were enamored of her.  While it’s fun to to a “pretty mommy,” and I’m never going to stop painting my toes or getting haircuts…if my son can look at me like that and know that I’ll play with him, whatever it is he decides he likes the play, then I’ll be happy.  Very happy.  Very tired probably…but very happy, too.

The next few days were rather difficult.  Camper had felt the freedom but couldn’t quite get it together again.  He was overthinking it.  He fussed a LOT, wanted us to help but wanted to get around on his own.  Poor baby.  He finally got it together at church while John and I were teaching our primary lesson.  One minute I was trying to get him to eat some banana and the next he was crawling under the table towards Daddy.  The last few days have been quite interesting, full of actually using the baby gates we purchased a couple of months ago, moving things that could fall on him and watching him get rug burn on his baby knees as he explores the living room. Today he crawled over to the corner in the living room by the door and just gabbed away happily, looking at me every couple of minutes as if trying to say, “Look at me!  I’m in a new corner!”

I can’t believe he’s finally crawling.  I don’t know if he’s super late, but he was definitely later than the other babies we know.  I wasn’t worried, actually I just enjoyed the freedom of plunking him down on the floor and going to make his noodles without fear of him falling down a staircase or getting himself trapped under the couch.  No more.  He even crawls around in his crib, which is completely novel to me.  I love going in and seeing what part of the crib he’s decided to curl up in before falling asleep.

It’s a whole new phase. Welcome to crawling.

“I’m making out with Courtnee and Bronne’s making out with her mom!”

This show is truly disturbing.  They bring a bunch of kids together at a time in their life that they are MOST likely to make big mistakes, drown them in alcohol and give them a job they aren’t even remotely qualified to do (which used to be something that added something to the community, and now is just anothe place to drink) and then film their every move.  Did I mention the communal showers and the fact that everyone is talking about WHEN not IF people will start to cheat on their boyfriends and girlfriends.  This show is insulting to true human relationships. Was it always this bad? Or am I just old(er) now?

Guess I’ll just watch something else while folding laundry next time.

PS I especially like the girl who got the ‘promise ring piercing,” because it means more than a real ring because you can’t take it off.  Well, you know what would REALLY symbolize commitment to someone else?  Not cuddling with, drinking with, and flirting with other men the first day you are away from the man you love.

So John and I had our first weekly “financial” meeting.  This is something we agreed on last week when we set up our weekly budget and our budget calendar.  We write the amount of money we have to spend on Sunday, then deduct as we go through the week and write what we spent money on.  This week: grocery shopping, a birthday card for a friend and the pharmacy.  The ending total for this week: $20.  $20 left we COULD have done something with, but didn’t.  How cool is that?

Awesome.

So how hard was it?

Hmmm…

Well, I spend no money at all on Monday/Tuesday, and then went grocery shopping with John on Wednesday night.  It was actually kind of fun/romantic to go together.  Bubbs was asleep and my Mom and Dad listened for him (he didn’t wake up) and so we went on our own.  Held hands.  Made fun of the locals who go grocery shopping with their butts hanging out.*

Since I’ve moved here, I’ve started to shop the sales and use coupons a litle more, and often it requires me to go to different stores.  I’m starting to really like shopping with coupons.  My friend Emily sends me coupons for diapers and stuff in the mail from time to time (I love her, what an awesome way to say, “I’m thinking of you”) and we pull a few out of the paper.  This week we went to three different stores, although I think we can probably cut it down to two in the near future.  We made a list and stuck to it, and then just went without anything we forgot, putting in on the list for next week.  (Of course…it DOES help that my mother scopes out my list for things to add to hers.  Case in point: Paremesean Shake Cheese.  So I guess I’ll cross that one OFF my list for next week and just replenish the whole wheat tortillas I’ve been snacking on instead.  We’re food sharers around here.)

As for activities, we did a few things that required no money at all: the library, scouting out local activities, walking and swinging in the backyard.  I found that I had a lot more time at home this week for cooking the Bubbs good food, cleaning my home, studying for the GRE, and just being less frazzled.  I also started to do some serious research and am proud to say that I’ve got a few FREE activities lined up for the kiddo, as well as some plans to use library passes for the museums around here again.  I was a little anxious about the weekend, as after the food shopping and everything used up all of our budget except for $25.  I figured, “we can buy some cheap food for that much, eat some junk, have some fun.”  But it turned out that when it came down to it, we weren’t that interested.  If it weren’t for the grinders my Dad brought home on Thursday (thanks, Dad!) I would have gone one entire week without eating out.  And I think I would have survived.  I guess we’ll see this week.

Ok, some my big “learnings” from the first week of budgeting are as follows:

1) We survived without running to the grocery store every night.  We ate what we had, we made meal plans and shopping lists for this coming week, and no one starved to death.  Even when we had the chance to eat out, we opted to eat at home anyway.  When I was going to run into the store one night and grab a frozen pizza for dinner, I couldn’t bring myself to do it thinking about all the food we had at home.  Who knew such a change of heart would come to be?

2) We still had a really good Saturday.  We went to the library as a family, we took a long walk and got sodas with ICE and STRAWS (my favorite, bought with random change laying around…) and we cleaned the car.  It’s funny, when we were less focused on what to BUY on the weekend, our Saturday became about taking care of what we already had.  Imagine that.  It felt good.  I actually really had fun detailing the car with my husband, the radio playing, Bubbs taking a nap, enjoying a rare moment of sunshine.  It just felt peaceful and good.  Especially compared to last week when we drove out to the mall in NY and felt rushed, annoyed and generally stressed out.

3)  I didn’t feel deprived.  When I thought about buying something, I didn’t just say “no.”  I went to check it out.  On Friday my Mom and I went to the fabric store to see what it would cost to make some skirts I’ve been wanting to make.  I left my credit card and bank card on the counter in the kitchen, and off we went.  I looked at prices of patterns and fabric, found a few cute things I could make for the Bubbs, and just generally thought it over.  I decided that although sewing COULD be very cost effective if you intended to use a pattern more than once…it’s not the time to start a new hobby.  I can do just as well shopping the sales if and when I really need a new skirt.  As for right now…I’m fine.

4)  If you’re patient, you’ll find what you need.  I’ve spent a little over a week looking for a way to take Bubbs swimming…affordably.  If he were older I would have NO PROBLEM spending a little more money on a pool membership or lessons, but because I have no idea how often we’ll go, I wanted CHEAP.  I went to two or three places, asked some friends and went online, and ended up getting him a membership at the YMCA.  $3 a month.  That’s it.  I can take him swimming every day if I want for just $3 a month, not extra charge for me to go with him.  It was EXACTLY what I was looking for.  It took a little investigative work, but it worked out.

5)  I feel less anxious about money in general.  So we still have some debt.  So we’re not rich.  So we still have a few years before we get all the way through school and have careers that will help us afford more of our “wants,” but you know what?  I feel BETTER about that when we’re on a budget.  I feel like we’re doing what we can, and that it’s enough to get us through.

6)  You have more time.  I think we spend a lot of time adding things to our life instead of enjoying/taking care of what we already have.  We read books we already had.  We listened to music we already had.  Bubbs spent less time in the stroller at the mall and more time learning to crawl and dance (both his big acheivements of the week).  I had more time to study and more time to work on goals like making menus and making better food.  I had more time to rest.  I also feel more a part of our community, a result of taking walks and interacting with people instead of looking for things.

So here’s to week two.  Hope it stays this easy…

*Seriously, John saw this guy struggling to open a jar of pickles at our “value” grocery store.  The one we go to because it’s WAY cheap and you can get GOOD STUFF for NO MONEY…but have to buy your own bags and put a quarter in the cart as a deposit and put up with the locals.  But ANYWAY…he was going to help him open the pickles but then he saw that his ENTIRE BUTT was hanging out.  So he didn’t.  I saw it later and it stopped me in my tracks.  A BUTT.  IN THE GROCERY STORE.  I mean, not just crack, the whole shabang.  John said later, “I was really confused as to why he would bother to wear a belt at all if he was just going to let his pants hang down like that.”  I said, “I’m sorry, I was to distracted by his GIANT NAKED CRACK to see that he was wearing a belt.”

Pools are expensive, yo.  Even the one I THOUGHT was $35 a year is apparently $35 before they will allow me to pay the $44 for eight swim classes.  Seriously, I ask of you, what is my 9 month old child going to RETAIN from a “class”? I’m sure he’ll always remember that the woman named Patty in the red swimsuit taught him to blow bubbles and kick his legs.  He’s not at the age where you can tell him, “Kick your legs.”  I’m not even sure if he knows that those things dangling from his torso are CALLED legs.  So that’s $35 + $44 + a pain in my rear.

But if I want to JUST have a pool membership for him so that I can go try to get him to kick his legs on my own, it’s $35 + MORE money for me to go in with him.  Because I am a separate person.  Neveryoumind that if I put him in the water alone he will DROWN to DEATH.  Extortion I tell you.

The other places are all quite a bundle for a “season pass.”  I’m not sure I’ll go enough to make use of a multi-hundred dollar season pass.  I just want to pay a reasonable amount of money to take my child and dip him in a large(ish) body of water once a week so that he learns to swim. We’re talking…20 minutes a pop.

Arg.

What do YOU do for swimmy time with your pre-toddler?  I think I may have to just go to the beach.  I can walk from my Auntie’s house and then it’s FREE.  Except for all the chocolate soft-serve…And the two and a half hour drive…

Oh, and PS!  I am totally shocked at the lack of playgroups in my immediate area.  The only one I found was 45 minutes away.  I thought there might be some “unadvertised” groups at the local churches.  So I hit a few up.  The Church of Christ (or whatever that castley one is…) told me to go to the Methodists, who told me “We don’t have anything like that,” and they both told me the Episcopalian congregation around these parts is rather elderly.  There weren’t any Catholics around today (except for one, he was praying, we did not interrupt) and so now I’m back where I started.  No swimming.  No playgroups.  Watch there be a swinging toddler scene at the Episcopalian Church and I’m missing out because I was told they were too old and I couldn’t find their “come on in and visit us” door.

Arg again.

And that’s how I feel about that.