Little Kite Girl

first band aid, which he tried to eat half an hour later.

John was able to go to Camper’s 1 year appointment with me today.  I really, really didn’t want to fly solo on this one.  I just like having extra arms to help, someone there to witness the doctor’s glowing praise of my only boy.  As usual, I wasn’t disappointed.  In some ways I feel like this is some kind of midterm for mommyhood.  Am I doing the best I can in developing and loving my child?  Is he healthy, safe, and happy?  Is he progressing?  Yes.  Passed.

I was a little nervous about this visit.  Camper still uses his pacifier…and really…John and I have no issues with it.  None at all.  Some days he’s got it in his mouth on and off all day long, others he takes it only at night.  We let him take the lead.  I expected to get some flack for it.  I gave it to him when he got fussy and told her she could take it out if she needed to.  She said,  “Oh that? He can have that for as long as he wants.”

Have I mentioned that I love her?

He wasn’t able to get all of his shots today because of my medication (live strains and immune suppressants don’t mix), so we have to wait a month to go back and complete the series.  It’ll work out, I think, because if we decide to do the other flu shots we can get them all done at the same time.  He was a real trooper for the whole thing, and when it was time to get his finger pricked he didn’t even flinch.  Our doctor always does the vaccines herself, but a nurse collected his blood.  He sat on his Dad’s lap and watched intently as she wiped his finger, pricked him and squeezed the blood into a tiny vial.  He was enthralled, and completely calm.

She loved his diaper, which I was stupidly proud of.  I was worried that I’d hear a lecture like I found in What To Expect…all about how you can’t get them really clean (uh…yeah you can) and it’s such a hassle and WHY??? Hearing a doctor tell me I’m doing something good for my baby, for the environment and for our checking account is huge validation for me.  I eat it right up.  Almost makes me want to get back onto my new favorite site…and yet…I have to conserve my funds…

We talked about extended rear facing carseats…which part of me totally wants to do and the other part of me sees how much he loves to be part of our car rides when he can see us and interact with us.  Let’s just say riding in the car has been…less fun as he gets older.  I sat in the back a lot.  I get carsick.  He is unhappy and gets really mad.  All of this has changed since we turned him around.  He sits and watches where we go.  He holds out his hands and talks to us.  She didn’t pressure us about it, just let us know what she thinks.  She also said that we should see bottles go completely bye bye very soon, which isn’t a big deal at all.  He takes one or two a night right now, and if I gave him his formula in a cup (he doesn’t really like milk all that much) he would take it just fine.  I know.  He really doesn’t need formula at all anymore.  I probably just need to figure out an easy breakfast for him in the wee wee hours of the morning. I told her that if he’s still waking up and looking for me, it’s because I am right there waiting for him to need me.  Just like with the cry it out thing, he is within normal ranges and will probably progress just as fast as I will with the whole issue.  I don’t really have a good excuse for why I wake up and cuddle my baby whenever he needs it.  I’ve had to let him fuss a few times when it became overwhelming, but his habits aren’t unmaneagable.  I feel like it’s my job to be there when he wakes up, to go to him and love him.  And I follow my own feelings about when it’s time to cut him off in different ways.  When it’s time for the next shift, I’ll know.  It might be a good thing for me to start working in the early morning hours.  Maybe we’ll all get what we need.  Or maybe I’ll miss 4am cuddle time.  Did I mention that when I can’t sleep I lay on the floor next to his bed and listen to him breath?  Yeah.  Attached much?

We talked about the dentist and tooth brushing.  I try to remember to brush his teeth every morning and every night, and was thinking about introducing toothpaste to make it more enjoyable/typical of the real experience.  She said that it’s fine to use the baby kind.  (I have this weird hangup about doing bathroom things in the bathroom with him right now.  When he wakes up, he goes to the bathroom.  We usually brush his teeth in the bathroom.  I’ve started washing his hands at the sink.  Maybe being in the right place for the behaviors will get him used to taking care of these things himself later?)  Also, I wanted to know if he should visit the dentist.  I guess dentists say that they should go within 6 months of having his first tooth, pediatricians say by age three.  And insurance doesn’t usually cover it. I think I’m just going to let this one fly and we’ll see how things progress.  He has lots of pearly white teeth, and as long as I keep up with his fluoride drops and brushing, I don’t think we’ll have a problem.  And I’m not in a hurry to get him into the dentist seat.  Especially before he even has his first haircut.  Poor little baldy.

His height and weight are right on target.  Healthy and growing.  Lucky for our clothing bill he has turned from MONSTER HUGE BABY to simply a bit larger than average baby.  I forget the exact numbers (good mom, right?) but she said that it’s really typical for babies who are born and stay larger than average for awhile to slow down the rapid growth and become more average.  He’ll probably still be taller than his peers, but maybe he’ll grow like his Uncle Jonathan (and maybe his Daddy and most other little boys) and just get taller and taller without putting on too much weight.  Plus, since he’s not walking yet, it’s kind of nice not have to lug a 25 lb. baby around.  Sheesh.  A few lbs. is a big difference for a little kid.  It seems like most babies I know are bigger than they are expected to be right now.  Is it time to change the standards, or are we just all having mutant babies?  Who knows.  With so much variation, I hate to talk in specifics because it’s so easy to compare head size and length and forget that we’re all so different.  It’s one of my biggest pet peeves that I fall into doing, too.  “How much does he weigh?”  If only it were as rude of a question for all ages.

I love the developmental questions.  Is he pointing?  Does he understand directions?  Is he walking?  Part of me thinks that he SHOULD be doing everything on the list, but again.  VARIED.  Some babies do things earlier, some babies do things later.  Last time we went he wasn’t crawling, now he actually has really good coordination and body control, but isn’t walking.  He doesn’t like to stand up on his own when he’s thinking about it.  He’ll hold onto things and walk and is working on walking holding one hand, but not on his own yet.  Sometimes I catch him standing next to his toy box just looking at stuff, and he doesn’t even know what he’s doing.  He’s in no hurry to run around, that’s for sure.

More than those questions I love her observations about his temperament.  His calm curiosity, the direct and unhidden look of annoyance he shot her when she pushed on his belly.  How secure he seems and how his timidity can really just be an expression of the calm, quiet environment he lives in.  (We all read a lot, watch movies, talk and eat.  The most raucous thing that’s happened lately was a 30 minute game of Spoons.  Freaking hysterical.)  We’re doing what we can to expose him to the chaos of other little children, and it’s ok if he’s shy.  The way he clings to me, ventures out, comes back, clings, ventures out…apparently it’s actually a sign that he’s well adjusted.  She is just so validating.

I trust her, and it feels good. I wish she could be my doctor, too.  Sigh.