WANT.IT.BAD. I heard about them at playgroup today and then LOOOOOK. OWWWLLLLS!!!!!!!! Sigh. I think my desire for baby carriers is out of control. Seriously. Trying to control myself. Reminds herself she’s poor. Reminds herself she’s poor. And her arms are free. But they don’t have OWLS ON THEM!
I’ve been a Mommy for about six months now. I am incredibly blessed to have a lot of help and support, but today in one of my rare days of “solitude” I’ve been thinking about the ways I make sure I can get things done. I figured I’d share and see if you have your own coping techniques or if you share some of mine. So here goes:
1) Prepare: Baby’s sleeping time is precious, and I don’t want to spend all of it doing chores (then when would I blog?). But I find if I take a few minutes to “prepare” things so I can do them more quickly later. For instance- sorting laundry and bringing it downstairs with a baby on my hip is hard…but if I sort into piles and put them near the washer, I can change loads with Bubby on my arm. (I like having the containers of soap, etc. already open. That way I don’t have to try and do it with one hand. However, as my kiddo gets mobile I’ll probably have to rethink this strategy if he can get to them.)
2) Lists: I can’t count how many times I’ve settled in to feed Camper or rock him to sleep and had a list of things run through my head. It’d be great to do this…I need to remember to do that….but then when I get up POOF. Gone. I started putting some paper and a pen by the chair I usually sit in. That way I can write down things I want to put in Bubby’s book, things to blog about, or just a shopping list.
3) FOOD. I think a good 80% of my meltdowns happen on days when I don’t eat/eat crap because I’m too “busy” (read:lazy) to prepare a meal. When I was in Utah I always made a sandwich or something for myself 10 minutes before Camper needed to eat and set it next to where I nursed. That way Bubby ate, I ate. It’s a little trickier with bottle feeding, but I find that around noon Camper wants some solid food, and he is usually patient enough that I can eat something with him. I get a bite, he gets a bite, we chat. He smiles. It’s nice.
4) Plan 15 minute “nice” things for you. If Bubby is occupied with a toy (or his toes) I find that I can usually do things in about 10/15 minute cycles before I’m needed again. Planning small things to do here and there helps me not run out of “mommy juice.” For example, paint your toenails, read a book (again, place it where you rock the baby, and after he drifts off to sleep read for a bit while cuddling some more), or exercise.
5) Reasonable expectations: This idea is straight from my favorite sleep book, but it applies to everything. I have always been a stickler for cleaning and cleaning schedules, and although I try to get the same things done that I used to, pre-baby…it’s just not possible. I have come to realize that I can’t get everything clean at the same time. I used to love cleaning my entire house one night a week and waking up to a totally clean home. But now I just try to do something. If it’s the bathroom, it’s the bathroom. Some days it’s just the shower or the sink. Some days it’s one load of laundry, some days I get out of the house. It’s hard, but I think I’m adjusting.
6) Another idea I heard lately (and I can’t remember where!) is to take time outs to play with your baby BEFORE he fusses. Today I was going through my files and music for piano lessons. I laid it all out on the floor next to where Bubby was playing, and every few minutes I rolled him over, kissed his cheeks, played tug of war with a chew toy (yes, he is a baby and not a dog) or picked him up and gave him a squeeze. I worked on my piano stuff and returned emails for about 2 hours that way with a happy baby. Yes, it took me longer than it needed to, but I included him and got it done. Days when I have the patience to play this way I definitely see a difference in his ability/willingness to nap alone and his general happiness. Good stuff.
Today we went up to the outlets. I heart outlets. As a matter of fact, I think that a major PRO for living anywhere is living with 30 minutes of the Banana Republic Outlet. Sigh. If ALL of my clothing could come from there, I wouldn’t cry at all. Not even a little bit. Sigh again.
Our outlets also has a Carter’s, however, which provides endless opportunities to find onesies for $1.99 and PJ’s for 50% off. Camper is growing so quicky we find ourselves up there every month or so scrounging for good deals with the other cheap people of Western, MA. More than that, we get out into the sunshine and watch our Bubbs looks at things and grab at things and snooze in his stroller. Today on the drive home he did something MIRACULOUS. He’s got this hanging monkey toy (from Carter’s…a gift from a lady at church) and he actually took his paci out of his mouth and tried to put it in the monkey’s. The look on his face was like, “Hey, I’m trying to share. Where’s your mouth?” It was priceless. In addition to that amazing little feat, he also mastered a new assortment of sounds this week, one of which we sourced to his Galloping Fun Jumperoo. He can now whinny like a horse. And if that’s not how you spell that, well, I don’t really car.
We got home (after grabbing some nuggets, I am addicted to chicken nuggets), gave the Bubbs a bath, and now we’re just chilling and watching a few episodes of Leverage. Oh yeah, little tip. If your baby has lots of dry skin on his scalp like Camper does, rub some olive oil on his head before you shampoo. We put it on Bubb’s head while we wash the rest of him and then use one of his soft baby brushes to rub it in a little. Then shampoo, rinse, and bye bye dry scalp. Bye bye baby dandruff.
Don’t forget, you have until tonight at midnight to enter the drawing for the miracle blanket. We’ll post the winner, chosen by Bubby at random, tomorrow!
My baby has a pretty predictable pattern at the moment. He USUALLY wakes up sometime in between midnight and 4am and eats, and then once more around 5 or 6 and eats, and then finally gets up for the day by around 7am. For a baby who is in bed by 8pm most nights, I’m pretty happy with that.
But LAST NIGHT. Oh, last night. I’m laying in bed and hear him stirring around 2am. Pretty typical, right? So I go in to feed him, and is he interested in eating? Nope. He is WIDE AWAKE and talking and squirming around and yes, even smiling. The smiling is cute. But 2am? Really baby? I sat up with him til about 3am until I decided that if he was that happy sitting in my catatonic arms, perhaps he’d be just as happy in his crib. So I set him in his crib, introduced him to that part of the ceiling so he could have a good chat, and went back to sleep. I listened to him chat away on the baby monitor for about half an hour, probably, and went in there when he finally stopped talking and gurgling away happily. He passed out around 4am, maybe? Just to wake again around 6 just as awake and chatty. Still not wanting to eat. I was so tired, and apparently it showed, because John said, “Stay asleep,” and went and got him and took him downstairs.
So what was that about? Is he growing out of nightime feeding but still used to waking up? Cause I gotta tell you, I had no idea what to do with myself! This morning he was overly tired and way cranky when it was time for a nap- so he obviously exhausted himself, as well. Hmmm. I guess we’ll see if he has a repeat performance tonight or if last night was just a fluke.
We’ve been in MA for over two weeks now. Looking at the dates, I could’ve sworn we’ve been here longer. I guess it feels so long because we are still job seeking and trying to get ourselves together on this side of the world. John has been filling out lots of applications and went yesterday to check some things out, so say a prayer that we find something soon. Soon would be very, very good.
Today he went into the city (as in…Manhattan) to attend the temple. I’ve never been to the Manhattan Temple, but I hope to go soon when I’ve been to the doctor and HOPEFULLY am able to travel with less discomfort. (Next week people, hopefully we’ve figured out what it is this time…) John and I don’t spend much time apart from one another, but since Bubby has arrived we’ve had to do more things on our own. We take turns doing things we need/want to do that require us to be baby-free, and although I am a wee jealous that John gets to walk around the city (it would be nice to hold his hand and meander in the sunshine) I am honestly just glad he went. For us the temple is a place where you can find extra peace, direction, and sometimes just a couple hours away from the rest of the world to center yourself and remind yourself of what is really, truly important. And before you say it…I COMPLETELY agree, you don’t need to go to a special place to speak to God- that can happen anytime- and you don’t even need to go to a special place to hear from Him, anyone anywhere can hear from Him anytime. BUT, sometimes it helps us feel his presence more directly when we do something special to remind ourselves to listen better. Today John has driven a couple of hours and boarded a train and will take various other types of transport to get to the temple, at which time he will leave it all behind and hopefully have a couple hours of peaceful contemplation and hopefully feel…well…peace. Everything will work out.
Aside from seeking for peace, and patience, I’m also seeking for some structure. It’s so hard to feel good about what I do all day. In some ways…it doesn’t. When I’m snuggling Camper or talking to him or reading to him or playing with him, it feels good. But sometimes I just feel like I’m just, here. He honestly doesn’t need me every second, but he needs me often enough that it’s hard to do something else without interruption. We talk and sing and read and cuddle and exercise…but what I get done in between is difficult to figure out. Anyone have an endless list of fulfilling 15 minute activities? I think I’m going to make it my priority to apply to school in the next few days, so at least I’m working towards that goal and getting it done. Funnily enough, Camper doesn’t mind me being on the computer. He likes to sit on my lap and watch me type for 20-30 minutes at a time. Maybe he’ll learn to read this way?
We’ll see!
He napped fabulously today! AND he didn’t scream after his bath (I drained it before I took him out…seemed to “transition” him better), AND he ate and went to sleep on his own in his crib by 8:30pm. Who took my baby and switched him with another one?
Ok. That’s not even funny.
Is he gonna wake up any minute now? What do I do with the load of laundry that needs switched? The washer and dryer are in the closet in his room… I’m not used to this!
Also: I’m re-reading Twilight after seeing the movie that I only loved because it is fun to mock. I finished the first book and am skipping right to the last one. That’s totally the way to go.
Also again: If you’re looking for a good meal, we got a marinated pork loin from Costco awhile ago. I cut it into 5 pieces (could’ve cut it into 6 for just the two of us, easy) and then baked it in the oven for an hour and a half in some tin foil at 350ish. It might take a little while, but it’s SO tender and tasty and nice and easy. And it’s a bunch of dinners just ready in the freezer for you! Yup. Yummmmmy.
So it’s time. Camper is 10 days away from his 3 month birthday, I can’t believe it! I’ve been feeling more and more like it might be time to not only grow more serious about our sleep rules that we’ve established (and been at least 80% good at keeping) but to begin a more formal “sleep training.” I was wondering when it would become time that we could actually maneuver him into sleeping when we want/need him to, and I think that most of the things that I’m reading point to between 3 and 6 months old. I found this today:
Sleep training opportunity
Typically, by age 3 months or so, babies have started to develop more of a regular sleep/wake pattern and have dropped most of their night feedings.
This doesn’t mean you should suddenly impose a rigid sleep program on your 3- or 4-month-old. In fact, your baby may already have developed sleep patterns that fit in well with your family life. But if you’d like to help your baby sleep longer at a stretch and keep more regular hours, now might be a good time to try some type of sleep training.
Keep in mind that every baby is on a unique developmental schedule. Observe how your child reacts to sleep training, and if she doesn’t seem ready, slow down and try again in a few weeks.”
So there ya go! Keeping in mind that my baby may or may NOT be ready for a more regular schedule, I think it’s time to try. The last few days I’ve been trying to follow a bedtime routine, which is the most consistent piece of advice EVERYONE seems to give about helping baby learn how to sleep more regularly. Here’s the thing, I don’t mind if he wants to wake up and eat in the middle of the night- he actually goes right back to sleep afterward and it doesn’t cause too much of a problem for me. What I REALLY want, my BIG goal, is for him to go to bed the same time every night, within an hour or so. That way as he matures and is able to sleep longer, he’ll do it from the same starting point. I see it like setting up a good platform to jump off of. And a more predictable evening for Mommy and Daddy.
SO. This is the routine that we’ve come up with.
8pm Change diaper, change into feety PJ’s, have a little lotion massage. (I know this is generally when people say, “Give him a bath, it’ll put him out!” But tis not true. My baby LOVES the bath, so much so that it traumatizes him to the tune of screaming for an hour every time I take him out. Also: I give him a bath earlier in the day when it’s warmest out.)
8:15pm Quiet rocking until it’s time to eat. Feed him a bottle in a dim room, say goonight!
Whenever all THAT is done: Cuddle in his bedroom and listen to lullabies, when he’s VERY sleepy turn on the white noise and put him in his crib. Say a prayer, final goodnight, and leave him in his bed.
Whenever he starts freaking out, pat on the back, rub his head, pick up for a couple of minutes and then RIGHT BACK in the crib until he falls alseep for real. So far this process has taken….until 2 am. Last night he took a power nap then was up til around 2:30.
I know.
It sucks.
I get SO frustrated! It’s so hard to wonder, is he still a newborn? Is this having any effect at all?
Then I read that while you cannot control when your baby goes to sleep, you can wake him up at the same time every day. So I think I’ll try waking him up every day at 7am (this is the time he woke up today, he slept from 2-7, not bad, just needs to be earlier!!) and see if that helps his little clock get settled down a wee. We shall see I guess. He might just fall right back to sleep, who knows?
Today I think I began reading his “signals” a little better. I put him down for a nap usually about two hours after he gets up in the morning. He’ll start rubbing his eyes and I know it’s time for either a swaddle or a meltdown. I almost always choose swaddle. Today I laid him down and he did his obligatory 20 minute nap and seemed awake. But I was on to him this time. I kept the white noise on, kept him in his swaddle and laid down with him for about 10 minutes. Sure enough, he fell asleep immediately. He woke once more and then went back to sleep. Total nap time: 2.5 hours. Perfect. He was up for about two hours (enough time to visit with friends!) and then back to sleep again for another hour. I think that this could work…as long as I watch him and get him to sleep before the meltdown happens.
Yup. Been working on this post pretty much all day, and am finding it a wee ironic that as I speak not only is it past 8 and we’ve done nothing on our “schedule,” but Camper is sleeping peacefully in his Daddy’s arms. Sigh. One day.
I think it’s time for list making. I need a list for what we need in this house to get us through til moving day. (This month!!) I was going to try and just use up every last bit of meat in the freezer and not buy anything new, but it only took one Sunday experiment with “frostbite stew” let me know that we will be buying groceries, probably til the end. Then of course we just HAD to run out of things we probably won’t finish before we go, fabric softener, shampoo, etc.
I need a list of what I need to do to get my applications into school. The GRE, applications, letters of recommendations, etc. Due date: January 1st. I need a list of packing procedures. We’ve got a lot of stuff in this house, and there is a need to plan out what we do with baby stuff, what will go in the cars, what will be in the van, and what (if anything) we’ll send ahead. I’m officially calling all baby travel advice. If there was something that made traveling with an infant easier for you, let me know!
Then there is the paperwork, we’re still dealing with the NICU bill. Fun. Apparently because we are students and because I decided to stay at home after having the baby, we are eligible for help with the bills. We’ve paid a TON of them already, but there is still a huge balance remaining. The thing that is SO interesting to me is that we had it all planned, we had enough money to take care of the 20% after insurance of a regular labor/delivery outright. No problem. But Camper threw us a curveball and spent a week in the NICU resulting in an itemized bill reaching almost $30, 000. Yup. I keep threatening to put it in his baby book as a record of his first week of life. Thankfully we DID have SOME insurance (albeit school insurance), but the paperwork to receive more financial aid is in the works. So there is that to deal with, as well. All I know is that our Camper is worth it. He came to us at the exact right time, and I wouldn’t go back and change a thing. Except for maybe insisting the nurses give me antibiotics earlier.
So yeah. A ton of things to do- so today will be list making, some grocery shopping, some cleaning and organizing, and for John: SCHOOL. School and school stuff. And some baby cuddling, of course.
Oh! Last night, after my backfire post, Camper was playing and dancing like a crazy little man until about 1 am. He was making us laugh so much, until he started screaming. We swaddled him up, put on the white noise and he passed OUT. Slept from 1:30am to 6:15!!!!!! I am not even kidding. Then he went back to sleep until 9. Why does he tease us?
PS: I want to see MARLEY!
I woke up rather early today, as most days…because of my beautiful baby boy and his feeding habits. For all those who are interested, we took him for his 2 month appointment yesterday. He weighs 12 lbs. 2 oz., and is 24 inches long. When he was born he was 8 lbs. 11 oz. and 21 inches long. I was pretty proud of him! The doctor also gave him some medicine for GERD. Hopefully that makes feeding time easier. We also switched to sensitive formula with some improvement, but I’d like him to be able to eat regular formula again. Maybe with the medicine he can. It was so sweet, he was fussing yesterday in the car while we waited for John to finish an appointment. I took him out of his car seat and snuggled him up to me and he fell asleep. After a couple of minutes he opened his eyes and looked at me, broke out into a huge smile and then burrowed back down and went back to sleep. Broke my heart wide open. I love this little guy.
Last night I went and got my hair cut with the fabulous Kelly. I am so sorry to be leaving her to move out east. This time I got more of a layered bob…perhaps I’ll do it tomorrow for church and take a picture to show you. Afterwards we stopped by a couple places then came home, made some hotwings and watched Kung Fu Panda (for the second time, there is no charge for awesomeness) with Jonathan. Camper, once again, kept us up til about 2 or 3…I think we’re going to stay around home this evening and try to get him to bed REALLY early and take advantage of his evening napping to see if we can get him down and comfy for the night. With the medicine keeping the acid out of his throat maybe he’ll actually stay asleep, poor kiddo.
So yes, after getting up and chillin’ with my baby (and his best friend the bookcase, he loves looking at one specific bookcase. Often it’s the first thing he smiles at every morning) this morning I went to work out at Curves. I have mixed feelings about Curves gym. I like that it’s all women, I like that it’s a circuit, I enjoy that I don’t have to think about what to do or how long to do it for. I dislike that it’s easy to cheat, and that the workout isn’t always incredibly challenging, and that they are always trying to get you to buy stuff or upgrade or…well, buy stuff. The one out east didn’t seem to be that way, so who knows what makes the difference. Regardless, though, it is something I can do (read: fit into my day) that will help strengthen my muscles again and help me start to lose the baby weight. I feel so weak, it’s sad, so I’m looking forward to getting stronger.
So yes. Now I’ve just got some paperwork to fill out (insurance stuff, passport stuff, all kinds of stuff) and John wants to go get a haircut. So I think we’ll pack our baby up and go out for a bit. We got Camper’s picture taken for his passport yesterday, haha. My Mom called while we were at Costco and said, “Why are you getting him a passport?” Well, why not? Right? And now all of our passports will need renewing at the same time as I’m changing my name on mine, John is renewing his, and Camper is getting one for the first time. I guess we’ll wait 10 years for another baby so that we can keep the whole family on the same rotation. Haha. Somehow I don’t think that would sit right with ANY grandparents.
Here’s a cute shot of our Camper and his SECOND best friend, Bubba Bear.
I got out today!! Yay! I went to lunch with Anisa- it was VERY nice to go out and chat and not have to worry about Camper crying (thanks Cy’s Dad for being so amiable and watching him so much :)) and eating without worrying that my baby is hungrier than I am. I stopped by work and saw everyone there, it seems so crazy and hectic! My life is crazy and hectic, but just in a different way.
Camper has been a bit of a…cranky butt lately. Don’t get me wrong, I love the cranky butt, but will someone tell me what’s WRONG with him? Geez. I got home from my “outing” and he was fine, snuggling with Daddy, but that quickly turned into freaking out. I gave him a bath, and he seemed to enjoy that. But as soon as he was dry and dressed he freaked out again. Finally I put him in the sling, which calms him down and helps him rest, but also requires movement for him to stay calm. So I decided to clean the kitchen. So there I am, wiping down counters, sweeping (the tricky part was leaning down to put it into the sweeping pan thing, what is that called?), and mopping with my wee babe in a sling on my chest. In some ways I felt ridiculous and in some ways I felt kind of like, “Wow. Check me out. Ultimate multi-tasker!”
What else is new? Well, I’ve been reading LOTS still. Right now I’m reading The Stay-at-home Survival Guide. It does seem written for Moms that would be working were it not for their new baby, which is good (I think that some Moms have always wanted to stay at home with their babies, and while they need support, too, it might be a different kind than those who always imagined working, forever…) but I’m still up in the air about it. I’ll let you know how it turns out. Next is No God but god, a book John had to read for class and that interests me because, well, Islam is interesting to me.
Other than that, just taking care of my baby, my husband, (who in turn takes care of our baby and me, as well, it’s a nice thing we got going on…) and thinking about preparing for the big move that’s coming up…I should probably get on that, yeah? Yeah….