Little Kite Girl

I went to campus this morning.  I was expecting to be hit by a huge wave of nostalgia, but I was not.  Maybe I haven’t been far away enough to get hit by the smell and the atmosphere.  Usually when I walk back into a place I spent so much time I take one whiff and millions of memories flood back in, and I  miss it.  I parked my car and started walking towards the building where I was going to meet with one of my professors (I need letters of recommendation) and it…just was.  I didn’t feel like I belonged there, I didn’t feel like I didn’t.  I didn’t feel nostalgic (although I did walk by the room where John and I met because I had some extra time :)) and the buildings just seemed, smaller somehow.  Campus is beautiful, like it always is.  Beautiful buildings and beautiful snow-capped mountains, lots of beautiful things.  It was funny seeing the students walking around, some sleeping on the couches and benches in the humanities buildings.  All I could think was, “You have no idea what exhaustion is, my friends.”  Unless, of course, they have a newborn, too.  It’s BYU.  Could happen.

My meeting with my professor was nice.  We talked about family and goals and about the classes I took from him.  He’s retiring next year (most likely, he said) and I was just really glad that I got to have his class while I was at BYU.  There were only three classes I took there that I actually loved or that I thought really challenged me in the way that I enjoy.  He taught two of them.  He told me that he would definitely write my letter of recommendation and thought that my current “degree” plan was very smart.  He said, though, that he wanted me to write my own letter first and send it to him.  He wants to know what I think of myself.  My first thought was “awkward,” and then I realized I have no idea what I would say about my student-self.  I’m not sure how to approach this task.  I guess we’ll see how it turns out.  I should be able to submit all my applications before we move, I’ve been studying in the evenings to prepare for the GRE.   I just hope I still have test-taking skills.  When I started at Westminster I was so excited to start a grad program, but two things happened: I realized that I didn’t like the construct  of the program, or the teachers (at least one of them anyway…), and then I realized that I had taken on too much.  Pregnancy, full-time job, plus being a wife and taking care of our home (which we definitely shared, and still share) was wayyyyy to much for me, especially because my pregnancy turned out to be so challenging.  But this NEW idea (which I’ll share in more detail, soon), I think it’s got a shot.  And it plays into our ideal future, which is an ever-changing, revolving type goal.  One of the most amazing things about being in love with someone is dreaming with them, thinking about the future and making plans, and then adapting those plans as real life presents itself.  John and I have been doing this a lot lately and I think we’ve got a series of very interesting ideas.  Again, perphaps there will be more to share a little later on.

And as for today, it’s FRIDAY!  John has a ton of campus stuff to do- class, test, meetings, etc.  I’m going to the gym later.  I actually felt really good walking around campus today, I think I might try and take Camper over there before it gets too cold.  It’s beautiful and hilly enough that you feel the burn a bit.  Or at least I do, because I’m weak, yo.  It’s a stroller friendly campus, as well.  Not too much cobblestone.  This weekend should probably be restful, calm, etc.  We’re going to need to start packing and getting ready for the move.  But we have at least one more adventure planned before we go- a trip down to visit John’s parents on the reservation for Thanksgiving.  Long drive #1 with Le Camper.

So, here’s a question…I’ve been going back and forth with whether or not to get some sort of tree for our apartment.  We’re moving right before Christmas, and I KNOW my Mom will have a beautiful tree when we get to the other side (she always does :)) but I don’t want to miss that after-Thanksgiving tradition of putting up the tree and decorating.  There is nothing like a dark, cold evening tucked inside your house just cuddling in light given off by the tree lights.  And I’m SURE Camper would stare at it a bit.  I’m thinking of getting a small tree, one that can sit on the little table we got for Camper’s room.  I don’t know…is it worth it?  You only get one Christmas a year…and it’s my absolute favorite holiday.  We’ll see.

Have a good Friday everyone :) I’m off to play with my baby, who is very smiley and conversational at the moment.