This is a picture I found while organizing my picture folder:
This is from two years ago I think…not last Halloween but the one before it. The glare off our super white faces and our glasses is horrible, but I remember trying to capture the fact that our hair was flipping out to the side in exactly the same way. Here’s another one:
See? He’s awesome.
So the brother is headed west. It makes me sad and happy. I’m happy that he’s found a place he wants to be, somewhere where he has a job he likes and people he likes to be around. Sad because I just like having him around. He’s lived down the street (to some degree) for a while now, and even though he gives me headaches and causes me to worry…he is a good brother. He has ALWAYS treated me well. He is always there to step in and help when I need it, and fits in well with my little family. And even though he and John like to make fun of each other, I think they like each other more than they let on. And we know the Bubbs loves him. Maybe that’s what makes me the saddest, I won’t get to see Bubb’s Uncle Jonathan smile for a little while. At least I’ll be able to see him again in a few weeks.
Today I went to my WW meeting (-2 this week, yay!) and then came home and said goodbye to Jonathan, goodnight to John, and then Bubbs and I played on the floor for a bit. I think today are just going to hang around the house. It seems like I’ve been running around for days on end now, and if I don’t make the conscious choice to just CHILL, I won’t ever do it. I also think my baby is exhausted, as evidenced by him falling asleep last night around 5:30pm, and not stirring until I woke him at 1am. I’m neurotic. If he’s not sleeping I’m all, “Oh no! Woe is me! No sleep!” and then he finally sleeps soundly for hours on end and I keep checking him, as if something’s wrong. I managed to hold off til 1am, when I just HAD to make sure he didn’t have a stroke in his sleep that was keeping him from being able to wake up/cry on his own. I changed his diaper, fed him a bottle (he barely opened his eyes) and laid him back down. He stretched and looked at me with wide eyes, then rolled over and went back to sleep. He was so “whatever” about the whole thing…I actually tried to tickle him to see if he would laugh. In my sick mind, if he laughed once I’d know he didn’t have a baby stroke that was causing him to sleep through the night. He went back to sleep, then woke up again at 5:15ish, ate, and then sleep for another hour or so. Seriously. Lots of sleep. For him. And not for me, because I’m crazy.
He wasn’t a big eater yesterday, but at least he’s picked up today. 5 oz. every time, plus all his normal food in between. Maybe I’ve been wearing him out, maybe he’s growing, I don’t know…but I’m going to make every effort to stick around the house today, cater to his napping needs, and just CHILL.
In other news…Bubbs has entered the dangerous to self phase. It seems like every time I turn around, he’s scratching himself, bonking himself on the head with a toy, falling on his head (from a sitting position), and his latest: nosedive on the changing table. He didn’t fall OFF, just bumped his mouth on the side. But it’s driving me crazy. He hasn’t done anything too serious, and I’m resisting the temptation to bumper pad everything. I know that he needs to learn how not to hurt himself, and that the best way is to let him figure out that throwing himself over backwards hurts. So I’m just trying to not freak about it. Right? Yeah. That’s all I can do.
Back to chillin’ folks.
