John basically intro’d this post for me, so I thought I’d follow through. Out of all the artists at the concert last night, he liked Meiko. All the artists were actually talented, well-trained, and interesting. Some were interesting good, some were interesting bad. I liked a few, but out of the ones I didn’t like, I really didn’t like Meiko. Here’s the thing, it’s not because she wasn’t talented or attractive- she was both- maybe more so than anyone else there. No, I didn’t like Meiko because she was…that girl.
There is one sentence that a girl can say that makes me place her firmly in the “that girl” category, by extension causing me to dislike her immensely. That sentence is (includes all variants): I get along better with guys than I do with girls.
That is…to channel a middle school girl… crappola. “Those girls” simply love male attention. They dislike hanging out with girls because they are competition. They like to string boys along, even if they don’t like them they act like “friends” in order to have a good excuse to keep them around. More often than not the boys fall in love, or at the very least get a crush, and instead of telling them what’s what and letting them find someone else, they actually keep them from having successful relationships with other girls. Who wants a boyfriend with a hot best friend? a GIRL best friend. Not me, that’s for sure.
Those girls often seek out time alone with their boy “best” friend. They secretly (or openly) find joy when the girlfriend gets jealous, and takes that opportunity to tell the boy that the girlfriend is obviously a jealous, high maintence lap-dog type and not necessary in life. Often, the girl “best” friend is responsible for causing the boy to stop respecting his girlfriend’s feelings, which eventually leads to a breakup.
Occasionally (meaning every so often) the boy professes his love for the girl “friend,” and she politely shuts him down, but not harshly enough to let him to move on. I’ve seen this happen in high school, in college, and even happen to my brother. I especially hate it when it happens to my brother.
Even more dangerous than the pre-teen or teenage “that” girl is the fully grown adult “that” girl. She is the girl that insists on lunch dates with fully grown adult boys who have fully grown and completely committed adult girlfriends or even wives. I really really don’t care what ANYONE says, any serious friendship with a member of the opposite after marriage has to change. You don’t have to change how much you respect someone or enjoy their company, but you do have to change how you act around them and when you are alone with them. Let’s try…never. Getting married does not automatically seal your heart so that you could never imagine being with anyone else, that is your responsibility. Fooling yourself into having a “best friend” of the opposite sex (or even of the same sex) that gets as much attention as your marriage partner is scary, and stupid. For shiz.
You can have friends of the opposite sex, but I’ve learned various times throughout life that while 1 is the lonliest number, 3 is the most dangerous number…It helps if that friend is married as well. But not always. You can tell that a friend of the opposite sex is ok if 1) they are not “that girl” (meaning they have lots of friends of their own gender and gives deference and respect to the actual wife or girlfriend, not seeking “alone time” with their boy “friend”) and 2) if they show interest in getting to know and adding spouse/partner to their life as well. If she seems threatened it means she’s got her claws in, and likes them there.
Now, let’s be real. Quite a lot of girls are at least a little bit “that girl,” or have been at some time in their life. Sometimes it’s a side-affect of loving someone who doesn’t love her back, and so she has friends to “fill in the gaps.” This may have been my issue during my brief stint as “that girl.” The more dangerous “that girls” do it for the thrill, for the love of the game, and…(this is scariest) because they can. Sometimes it’s as simple as that.
So how did I know Meiko was that girl? Well, she kind of self-declared. First by singing a song that I actually really liked, “I know better than to be friends with boys with girlfriends,” and then singing a song that she wrote specifically to freak out the girlfriend of her boy “friend” who had the audacity to dislike her. Yup. She is that girl, and I, like any girl who loves her husband, bristled a bit in her presence. What can I say? I’m the jealous type. And THAT would need an entirely new post to explain ;)
All that said…I think I do want her music after all….
