So I have this philosophy. It’s born from watching lots of moms with healthy, happy sons, and lots of babysitting experience. (I always babysat boys for some reason. I had a few weekly jobs that I did for years, and one mom would pay me above and beyond what anyone else did to secure my time for her four boys. I knew why she paid so much after she had to show me the “right” way to restrain her oldest child when he threw fits and after her second oldest locked me in his bedroom one night. Super sneaky child that one. I actually had a lot of fun with those boys, and they were boys.)
This is my philosophy: WEAR THEM OUT.
I think that there are definitely kids who need medication for different things, I’m not all Tom Cruise about mental health issues…but I think that as a society (and in the public school system) we tend to overstimulate a child’s brain while not teaching him how to use up all of his energy. Then we get surprised that they can’t sit still during a lesson or a book. Just like our food can be over-fortified (find me a food without extra vitamin C or DHA or SOMETHING in it, and I’ll be quite surprised) our activities can sometimes have too many agendas. We want our kids to learn sign language, counting, reading, colors…WHATEVER…and in order to attain this goal we turn all of their games and toys into “learning opportunities.” Sometimes a kid just has to play.
Here is an analogy that prove I do too much laundry. Children are like little washing machines. We make sure our kids get plenty of rest and eat good food and all of this equates to the machine filling with water and starting the agitation process. However, if we miss that final spin cycle, the water will just sit and cause problems. Making sure our kids exert themselves physically is like letting the water out, getting that last bit of energy out and making room for more, fresh energy later.
So yesterday I wore my kid out. We went on a bike ride, we played in the backyard, then we went for a swim. He still took his naps and ate his meals, but in between we got outside, got in the water, and stayed busy. Not only did he nap like a champ yesterday, but he also slept from 7pm to 4am, ate and went back to sleep until 6:30am. But here’s the problem.
I was SHATTERED by the end of the day. I woke up today and couldn’t imagine doing any more of the same. How am I supposed to keep this up? I think as he gets more independent I’ll be able to sit in the backyard and enjoy a book while he runs around and plays in the sandbox. (I’m planning on getting a sandbox as soon as he stops eating everything.) Maybe I can host a playgroup and let the other kids wear him out sometimes. But all I know is that he seemed happier, slept better, and is crawling faster and faster.
He’s also enjoying the pool more, but I’ll post about THAT a little later.
I even noticed that when we sat down with a book after a lot of physical activity, he was more likely to sit quietly and look at the book with me. It can’t be bad for me, either, right? All I know is that with how much John and I enjoy TV, movies, and computer…I better make sure we get the kid outside. He’s already in love with all things luminous or buttonous.
So here’s my plan. Do everything that I can do. If we are both tired at the end of the day, I did something right. I’m going to help my son learn to play hard, not be afraid of getting dirty of getting his face wet, and make sure that we both get a little rest when we need it. (Rainy days are good for that, no?) I’m thinking of getting a kiddy pool so that he can splash around even on days that I don’t feel like getting in, and like I said, the sandbox will come as soon as he stops putting everything in his mouth. I think it’ll be super fun when he starts to walk and I can bring him to the playground.
Just as a final aside, when we were in Albany a couple of weeks ago we entered and exited that mall through a sporting goods store. At one point I looked down an aisle and saw a woman with two boys and her husband looking at equipment of some kind. She was wearing comfortable clothes (watch out Stacey and Clinton!), didn’t wear a lot of makeup or do anything extraordinary with her hair, and looked rather unremarkable when it came to fashion or cuteness. My first thought was, “I wonder if having all boys in the house means you can’t wear cute clothes anymore.” But then I saw her boys (husband included) looking at her and talking with her about some activity they were going to start doing. The look in their eyes was unmistakable, they were enamored of her. While it’s fun to to a “pretty mommy,” and I’m never going to stop painting my toes or getting haircuts…if my son can look at me like that and know that I’ll play with him, whatever it is he decides he likes the play, then I’ll be happy. Very happy. Very tired probably…but very happy, too.
